I am that..... a Man.... (“DEPENDABILITY”)

I thought I was built to be the stronger person, the one that was there when no one else was

The person that kept things going even when it looked like all hope was lost

Through a lot of heartache, laughter, tears, and misunderstandings, I did what needed to be done

But then when things got entirely too demanding and the real battle had begun

I had thoughts of giving up, even when my stubborn ass was dead set on completing what I started

It is like I lost focus because of what was in front of me, while looking at everyone else being ice hearted

YOU stepped in and observed for a minute, YOU looked at the look on my face

Looking at the conditions of where I stood, standing in my own dry spirit trying to fill this dead space.

I still wanted to do it on my own, and I looked for ME to get it done

I did not need to be anyone’s charity case; I was the only male, my mom’s only son.

I mean, to prove I could do it, this was a role I needed, I could do it if I did nothing else

OH how proud I would make the others, if I did this by myself.

But, still YOU watched, YOU observed, YOU focused, never leaving me on my own

Although YOU never stepped in to save me, your presence was always known

After so long I finally got to the point where I was losing this crazy fight

Everything I was wanting to do by myself ended all at once, in one night

I got helpless, and felt like I was nothing because of the mistakes that I would make

Things I did, as my mother looked on, and after the first time I saw her tears; at that moment I had to break

I fell to myself, but did not look to myself, but I called YOU for the first time in this situation.

I called YOU, and almost before I started the first word to my last sentence, YOU had me in deep consecration

For the first time, I had a total mindset to depend on the one I should have called on from the jump

YOU showed up, and YOU showed out, and YOU made your statement, telling me enough was enough.

YOU made the issues go away, my confusion was at rest, YOU totally came through

And you did just what you always do when i finally decided to depend on YOU.
I am human indeed, I a your creation, I am stubbornness above what any other human can understand.
I never was able to get it right the first time, i am selfishness, I am that I am..... a man.... 

"xpressurself"

"Sigh of Relief"

There was a long pause in the middle of the Lake, and the only thing I found myself doing was sitting there so I could get a good listen

I watched, as the sun rays just sat on the top of the water, and I was in awe by the way the reflection glistened.

I talked to the water as if it had a soul, but later found out that indeed it did

A huge smile came across my face, and I became extremely giddy, you could have sworn I instantly became a kid

I saw the Glory of what was in front of me, and never paid attention in the months before

My eagerness to receive it, grew bigger and bigger, making me yearn for it more and more and more

If I never saw anything else, or witnessed what was before my presence

I would never be able to testify about its glorious essence

The water had such a spirit about it that made me WANT to be around it daily

I asked God if he could make this happen, down and simply said “SURELY”

Are you worthy to have what I have to give you, will you cherish it the way it needs to be cherished

I have something far more intriguing, and beautiful, and only needs to be nourished

There is this spirit of love, devotion, and the confirmation is all in the air

God gave me what I asked for, and I will be DAMNED if I mess this up, and let it go anywhere

The water was good, but this spirit of God’s love is priceless and can NEVER be replaced of duplicated

No one or anything can get in the middle of this thing I was given, for I earnestly supplicated

Well HE gave it to me, I have received it, and it is in my heart… nothing else matters to me

(big inhale real slow…. Big exhale real slow) OH what a joy, and a sigh of relief……….

“xpressurself”