My 3 first Loves...

IN MEMORY CLEARLY OF MY 1ST LOVES, I WILL START FROM NUMBER 3.

BASIC EVENTS, THOUGH NOT IN DETAIL ON HOW A FEW THINGS WENT DOWN WITH ME.

NUMBER 3): SUZY Q, I WILL NOT PONDER ON WHAT WAS LOST, BUT WHAT IT WAS THAT I HAD.

WHAT CAN I SAY, I MADE HER LEAVE, AND SHE LEFT, THERE IS NOT TOO MUCH MORE TO ADD.

I WAS ALWAYS THERE, BUT I WAS NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEEDED TO BE.

I PRAYED AFTER SHE LEFT, AND GOD DEALT WITH ME WHICH FORCED ME TO MY KNEES.

I WENT AWAY TO ANOTHER STATE, WHERE THERE WAS NOT TOO MUCH LUST.

WHERE I LEARNED WHERE I NEEDED TO PUT MORE OF MY TRUST.

WHEN I CRIED, I WOULD WRITE AND MY SOUL WOULD SIGH.

IN AN INSTANT OF RELIEF I WOULD QUICKLY STOP MY CRY.

NUMBER 2): MY GIFT IS NOT SPEAKING, OR TEACHING, BUT MY GIFT IS _EXPRESSION

IT COULD BE REMEMBERING A SCRIPT, WRITING A LETTER, BUT IT IS LIKE MY SOUL WOULD GIVE A CONFESSION.

I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF HAPPY, AND I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF TO THE TRUTH.

I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF TO SLEEP AND I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF TO A BOTTLE OF 151 PROOF.

I HAVE WOKE-UP FROM A DEEP SLEEP AND WRITTEN MYSELF INTO A DAYDREAM.

I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF FROM KICKING SOMEONES ASS, OOOOOOO I HAD TO GET DOWN ON MY KNEES

I CAN WRITE WRITTEN WORDS THAT ARE WAITING TO WANDER.

I HAVE WRITTEN FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO BE OUT OF CONFUSION, SO THEY WOULD NOT BEGAN TO PONDER.

I HAVE WRITTEN SO MUCH FROM THINGS THAT I HAVE SEEN, AT THE SAME TIME NEVER FORGETTING THE SOURCE.

I HAVE BEEN ASKED, "DO I LOVE MY 1ST FIRST LOVE?"

WHO IS IT?

AND I WILL SAY IT IS GOD, AND DO I LOVE HIM? OF COURSE!

NUMBER 1): MY 1ST FIRST LOVE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE OF ME, WITH ME, IN ME, FOR ME, BESIDE ME, SINCERLY.

HE PROMISED TO LOVE ME, TO PROTECT ME, TO COMFORT ME, TO CHASTISE ME, TO LISTEN TO ME, TO GUIDE ME, FOR ETERNITY.

THERE WAS A TIME WHERE MY FIRST LOVE SENT ME IN THE MIDST OF WOLVES, AND HE SIMPLY TOLD ME TO STAND.

IF I NEEDED ADVICE FOR ANY SITUATION, HE COMMANDED ME TO NEVER PUT MY TRUST IN MAN.

SO TO GOD BE THE GLORY, THE STORY OF MY LIFE, TEACHER AND PROTECTOR OF MY SOUL.

THE CREATOR OF LIFE HAS GIVEN ME WISDOM AND A CHANCE AT LIFE UNTIL I GROW OLD.

HE HAS TAKEN ME THROUGH THINGS, NOT BEING MEAN, BUT TO TEACH ME HOW TO WAIT FOR WHAT HE HAS IN STORE FOR ME.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY AND THANK YOU FOR MY 3 FIRST LOVES, AND THANK YOU FOR A CHANCE TO FINALLY SEE
"xpressurself"

My Imagination.... Running Away.... ****************

I just went blank, and my mind just wandered aimlessly

Now there I go just walking around, looking around vagrantly

As I imagine you in this palace surrounded by Kings and Queens

Dutchmen, princes, princesses, with you in between

Pampering you with the best of everything

As the best of the best, kneeled down on one knee before you just to sing

The entire ballroom is piled high with material things

Gadgets and trinkets and cash and rings

Nice cars, with beautiful clothes, and many more fancy things

WHUP......, here comes someone else, I wonder, what did they bring

It is a man in a mask, with a slight slick lean

with the appearance of a misfit, but this dude was dressed clean

With a nice colorful shirt, cargo pants with a stitched out seem

Some nice canvas shoes, a baseball hat, and a watch without the bling

A clean cut fella, though his face looks mean

An outcast from the rest of royalty fling

He just stood to the side, and peeped the scene

His eyes caught the princess and their eyes totally clinged

Though he knew he was not royalty, and she was the daughter of the King

He was much too simple for her, and he was without a lot of things

In a sense he felt inferior, and his first thought was to leave

But he was invited by the Prince, to which he refused to cleave

He stayed to himself through most of the scene

And at the right time, once again, he and the princess’s eyes linked
what on earth could all of this mean
the princes, the princesses, the king, and the queen
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMMIT..... looking around

was this a day dream

I just went blank again, and my mind just wandered aimlessly

Now there I go just walking around, looking around vagrantly

"xpressurself"
10/11/2012

"Utterly Speaking"

"The Assignment" (john 21))

This was the 3rd time Jesus had been out and about and revealed himself to those that walked with Him through his life
Peter being up to his old shenanigans, you would think he would have gotten an understanding after being questioned not once, but maybe twice
At the 3rd time, i think Jesus was trying to cover Peter after he denied 3 times; this is your chance to make me feel better.
just answer the questions that i ask, truthfully, and it would probably behoove Peter to make sure he can live up to his answers, to the letter.
but after he answered Jesus, Peter being Peter, either started smelling himself, or was just so nutty that he had the audacity to question Jesus about another of the brothers
John, the one that Jesus most loved was following them, now that should have never been a bother.
Peter turned and saw John following and he asked Jesus, what will you have this man do
This is the disciple that you loved the most, what things will he go through?
I can only imagine Jesus thinking to himself; what if he is the one that sits on the mountain and is placed into a sleep to be given the plan for the last days
he just may witness the coming of the greatest battle, as Gabriel swoops down, with the battle cry grabbing the trumpet in preperation as he plays.
i just may want him to write about everything that has been told to him, recording everything that i place before his eye
but Jesus simply replied, what if I wanted him to stay here, until the day that i come high.
whatever it is i have him to do, as long as he stays his course
tell me, tell me Peter, what concern is that of yours?
The others that were listening on, circulated this saying, saying "that disciple will not die"
"Jesus said it himself, we heard him" which was truly a flat out lie.
This is not what Jesus said, but in fact he said WHAT IF I HAVE HIM LIVE TIL I RETURN
see, even then the truth was twisted, when will we ever learn?
"xpressurself"

#IAMTHATIAM...

i was given a piece of someones mind concerning a certain poem that i wrote
they thought that by speaking to me, i would feel bad about it, but.... uuuhhhmmm.... nope
i think the way i think, i speak the way i speak, i i write what i have wrote
I tell you this, after i finished pissing on this person, they wish they would have just written me a note
This blog belongs to me, and these thoughts can not be tamed
if i really was an ass hole, this person would certainly be named
and this would not be a lie because this person recanted in the form of a text
copying and pasting would be no problem, i can give 2 shits about how much you are vexed
I am an expressionist, which means my opinion goes many places
PLUS i am a Gemini, i  change to many faces
i can easily go from 0-60 in .123 seconds
and from 60-0, in a litle longer time, I mean my tolerance has not yet been perfected....
#IAINTBEENSAVEDALLMYLIFE... IAMJUSTSAYING....
so to you and all of the others that feel like just because you have a mouth, that you can say what you want to say to me
the truth is you have the right to speak your mind, but be aware of the things i speak
God is still working on me, and he has given me a way to speak to make it tasteful, and more pleasant to HIS ears
but #IAINTBEENSAVEDALLMYLIFE, so you probably should have a bit of fear.
IAMTHATIAM, IBEWHOIBE, IAMTHEGOTDAMNMAN
go ahead and exercise your figure of speech, and i will exercise my right to dig into your ass, just as long as you understand
"xpressurself"

"REPROACH" ( 1Timothy 4)

There is this Spirit that has the ability to pass through without even allowing his presence to be known.
it has been fortold that we would take in this spirit and make it our own
it would force us to pay more attention to seduction and we would speak the doctrines of hell
through the hypocrisy of men, we would speak lies, and against the Bible we would be forced to rebel
Our conscience would be branded as if it was pressed with a hot iron
marriages would become broken, as well as forbidden the way God first planned, and same sex marriages would soon be desired
Instead of being thankful for the foods God granted us, we would abstain from eating what God himself said was good.
for who am i to blasphemy against what God has set aside for me, i wish to hell I would.
For all these things have been sanctified through the word of God; now we make this statement greater
The truth can once again be exposed, through the faith in prayer
bodily excercise is of some value, but Godliness has value in all things
For he has given us the promise of life which is existing now, including all this life has to bring
through Christ Jesus.
This is stated with faith and with all acceptance through the Book of Life
for to this end, we will all labor and suffer reproach as was done with Christ.
as believers we should teach these things, and command these things be done
teach and command these things, for in the kingdom of God, we are one
Just pay attention to your teachings, make sure your teachings of the doctrine are sound
We are all responsible for what comes from our mouths, and on lookers are all around
We should all be diligent in these things, giving ourselves wholly to all that seek
everyone that is near and far will pay close attention to our actions and to all the words we speak....
"xpressurself"

Diligence in Faith.... Through Christ... (2 Peter 1)

My God, My God....
 I have never experienced such earnest love, and patience from a single person, though
i yearn for this thing
man has become so pro_for myself, no other person is of no importance to them, then why should they be to me.
 Am I of this world, or of the spirit; who has control of my life?
is there no one else that is of any existence, capable of loving without there being a price?
 Who has given me the rights to all of his promises, with the key to escape corruption that has been trapped in this land of lust
the visual component that has been placed in my heart from birth is now apparent because i chose to start operating in Love
 concentrating on what God has done for me, as far as allowing HIS son to die for my sins
while understanding and practicing and living for knowledge; in knowledge, self control;, and in self control, patience; and in patience,   righteousness from my God
and in righteousness, brotherly affection; and in brotherly affection, love; now for the unsaved, this will certainly seem a bit odd
  but for this very reason, with diligence, adding to your faith, supply moral ethics.....
many people that read this, will probably not get this.
  We have been given freedom, which sometimes i think was a mistake from the beginning of time
God allowed man to take care of, and to control the things that HE has created, does that include this heart of mine?
 Well, it seems that those of a higher power feel that they are in charge of how i should feel, and how i should react
Though i am a Christian, i have not been saved all of my life, and by any means necessary my heart will remain protected, and my soul will stay intact...
 For i am persuaded God has my back, and through my Lord's strife
My Savior will diligently continue to push for my freedom, as long as my earnest faith strengthens from now until the rest of my life....
"xpressurself"

Press to the Mark.....(Hebrews 12:1-2)

Papa is pushing forward: onward go I, making a mark at the front of the line.

Who is walking right beside me, and willing to waste no time

There has been too much thinking about things to happen, and allowing time to rush on ahead

Standing still is not an option, moving onward is what I said

I give 2 ticks about the nay sayers watching on, speaking about not a thing

If you want to get on the band wagon, get a running start, and bring whatever you are gonna bring

I know what it is like having nothing, and waiting for others to come to my rescue

I have been to that place where I was just stuck in one place, with nothing: could not even afford a clue

Alone in life, watching others move on, asking for patience from others, not getting even a benefit of doubt

Being so stressed, that my own mojo left my side, and would not work with me, even he put me out
Many times our assignments are pushed to the side, and we allow distractions to take control
BUT WE FORGET WHO IS IN TOTAL CONTROL.....
Issues of life weigh heavy on our minds, while our souls are waiting for a release
Though the perfecter of my faith, the king of all kings, My Lord and saviour Jesus
has set a mark, with no practice, MUCH preperation, and lots for us to rehearse
For he said the one that come first is last, and the last one to finish would be first
so again i say, I am pushing forward, making a mark at the front of the line
My Lord, the Christ, the right hand of God is right beside me, wasting no time..... 
"xpressurself"

I am that..... a Man.... (“DEPENDABILITY”)

I thought I was built to be the stronger person, the one that was there when no one else was

The person that kept things going even when it looked like all hope was lost

Through a lot of heartache, laughter, tears, and misunderstandings, I did what needed to be done

But then when things got entirely too demanding and the real battle had begun

I had thoughts of giving up, even when my stubborn ass was dead set on completing what I started

It is like I lost focus because of what was in front of me, while looking at everyone else being ice hearted

YOU stepped in and observed for a minute, YOU looked at the look on my face

Looking at the conditions of where I stood, standing in my own dry spirit trying to fill this dead space.

I still wanted to do it on my own, and I looked for ME to get it done

I did not need to be anyone’s charity case; I was the only male, my mom’s only son.

I mean, to prove I could do it, this was a role I needed, I could do it if I did nothing else

OH how proud I would make the others, if I did this by myself.

But, still YOU watched, YOU observed, YOU focused, never leaving me on my own

Although YOU never stepped in to save me, your presence was always known

After so long I finally got to the point where I was losing this crazy fight

Everything I was wanting to do by myself ended all at once, in one night

I got helpless, and felt like I was nothing because of the mistakes that I would make

Things I did, as my mother looked on, and after the first time I saw her tears; at that moment I had to break

I fell to myself, but did not look to myself, but I called YOU for the first time in this situation.

I called YOU, and almost before I started the first word to my last sentence, YOU had me in deep consecration

For the first time, I had a total mindset to depend on the one I should have called on from the jump

YOU showed up, and YOU showed out, and YOU made your statement, telling me enough was enough.

YOU made the issues go away, my confusion was at rest, YOU totally came through

And you did just what you always do when i finally decided to depend on YOU.
I am human indeed, I a your creation, I am stubbornness above what any other human can understand.
I never was able to get it right the first time, i am selfishness, I am that I am..... a man.... 

"xpressurself"

"Sigh of Relief"

There was a long pause in the middle of the Lake, and the only thing I found myself doing was sitting there so I could get a good listen

I watched, as the sun rays just sat on the top of the water, and I was in awe by the way the reflection glistened.

I talked to the water as if it had a soul, but later found out that indeed it did

A huge smile came across my face, and I became extremely giddy, you could have sworn I instantly became a kid

I saw the Glory of what was in front of me, and never paid attention in the months before

My eagerness to receive it, grew bigger and bigger, making me yearn for it more and more and more

If I never saw anything else, or witnessed what was before my presence

I would never be able to testify about its glorious essence

The water had such a spirit about it that made me WANT to be around it daily

I asked God if he could make this happen, down and simply said “SURELY”

Are you worthy to have what I have to give you, will you cherish it the way it needs to be cherished

I have something far more intriguing, and beautiful, and only needs to be nourished

There is this spirit of love, devotion, and the confirmation is all in the air

God gave me what I asked for, and I will be DAMNED if I mess this up, and let it go anywhere

The water was good, but this spirit of God’s love is priceless and can NEVER be replaced of duplicated

No one or anything can get in the middle of this thing I was given, for I earnestly supplicated

Well HE gave it to me, I have received it, and it is in my heart… nothing else matters to me

(big inhale real slow…. Big exhale real slow) OH what a joy, and a sigh of relief……….

“xpressurself”

My Responsibility.... No Longer in Me...

Walked in the courtroom and my knees buckled

I faced the prosecutor

And the executioner

And I was asked, did I do it

Did I have a past that I truly regret

Did I do and say things that would force

me to lose my respect

HOT DAMMIT, I did it I tell you, it was me I admit it, now leave me the hell alone

My past is just that, my past so please stop handing me back my old bones.

I want to beat you with it, slap the hell out of you with my skeletons that I am trying to hide

But your egotistical, holier than thou ass just will not allow me to leave my past behind

It was me that ravaged that beautiful tall glass of water, I swear it, but she begged me to

Now what type of man would I be if I did not oblige, come on now, what else was I to do.

She was standing there looking all watery, and vulnerable, and she just wanted to be held

I felt bad in the beginning, but I did that, I hit that, did I like her or love her, a player will never tell???

I did what I did, and it was what it was, I mean her sister should not have been talking about it

If she never would have opened her mouth, she never would have known about it

HUH? WHAT? WHAT EVER DOTH THOU MEANETH????

All of the dirt I did in the past, it is up to me to clean it.

Yea I triggered a dude, he was being rude, and I only asked him to PLEASE not stand so close

He looked at me looking at him, could I have moved away….. yyyeeeeaaahhhh I suppose

I WAS THERE FIRST DAMMIT, I WAS ALREADY IN PLACE.

He pushed me, and I only aimed it his way, I was not TRYING to hit him in the face

What do you mean just let it go, I would if folk would let me

I hear about my past actions daily, I wish all of they asses would just forget me

I put that CD back in its spot, I never walked out of the store, I would not have gotten far

I was only riding with those dudes, I did not help them break into those cars,

Yea, that drag from the Mary J. got into my blood, but I never took a puff

OK, OK, PLEASE STOP…. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

I know, it is my responsibility to change if I want change, and change is my main option

My past will never go away, it will never be forgotten

This is a new day of living and this is a different me

Running up in a sexy fine chic just because, no longer is that me

Running with the goons at night, no longer is that me………

Smoking that Dro is long gone, no longer is that me….

My lonely days of solitude, no longer is that me…

Being just so damn rude, no longer is that “totally” me… iamjustsaying…

Being over sensitive, upset for no reason, no longer is that me…

I must show that I am capable of being responsible and disciplined if I am to be the man that I am trying to be

There are many who act as if they are NOT watching me….

I must stand as a man, so please understand that this new way of living is different for me..

it was me I admit it, now leave me the hell alone, and let me now be who God has called me to be….

Aborted Opportunity..... Non-Existant......******* (something will fit, find it )

Hello you,
I just wanted to say hi.... I have been thinking about you a lot lately
The hopes i had of our union have been vexing my soul greatly
I remember those possibilities i had of actually holding you in my arms
though it was brief, yet real at time, i still hold that feeling; strong
i see your face and what it would have looked like, if your existence would have just came true
but it remains only that, a vision....a perfect imaginary image of you
i loved you even though i have never touched you, for my admiration unlike you, is so real
Only God knows how i feel. i am not sure how i should feel. i do not like how i feel
 i am not getting any younger, but i have nothing to show for my life
I have been able to touch most things i have yearned so long for, and it was nice
The one thing that i crave is the one thing i have yet to have
where is my cradle, my up in the middle of the nights, my tickle me elmo bubble bath
i see daily how many of these chicken shit ass bastards negate the most precious thing known to man
i have watched how, upon creation, their destiny as men and fathers tend to fall short of God's plan
Though a man like me has to accept the broken pathway of Queens decisions to self abort life as if it was her decision to make.
God's will is God's will, and it is a pathway i am forced to take
so I will.... humbly, with animosity for my first real chance that i once had
so sad... it could have happened, it should have happened..... it didn;t happen... so, so, so, sad
but it still seems like the joke was all on me....nonetheless, i still, only just wanted to say hello,
though i have never seen you, or experienced you mere existence..... i still miss you. and i do love you 

though you were never born....
"xpressurself"

Father do you hear me?????????

Father can you hear me,
i whisper this prayer to you
not that i am trying to be silent
but my humility is overdue
i laid in bed alone last night
and i awakened covered with your spirit
i felt it dettaching itself from me
and it spoke, i just could not hear it
i felt it and sensed it speaking
but there was just no tone
immediately i blinked
but when my eyes reopened, he was gone
Father can you hear me
PLEASE tell me what does this mean
what was your spirit trying to tell me?
Father speak your word, direct my path,
send me your blessed word
is it because my sins have blocked my hearing
God have i finally gotten on your nerves?
My life has changed for the better
though it still seems i am still in this ditch
what on earth could it be
MY CHILD, NONE OF THAT IS IT.
I HAVE GIVEN YOU WHAT YOU HAVE ASKED
YET YOU STILL TRY TO REMAIN MILD AND MEEK
YOU HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY FOR LOVE,
FINANCES TWEEKED, AND YOU HAVE EVEN ASKED ME TO TEACH YOU TO SPEAK
YET YOU TALK WHEN YOUR PURPOSE IS SERVED
AND YOU EVEN GET JIGGY WITH IT EVERY THEN AND NOW
YET YOU ARE STILL WAITING ON SOMETHING
AND I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA WHAT IT IS NOW
TAKE WHAT I HAVE GIVEN YOU FIRST
AND DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
THERE ARE MANY MORE THINGS THAT I HAVE
IN STORE JUST FOR YOU
 YOU HAVE SAID TO ME: "yes Lord,
Lord, I will certainly do your will"
THE IDEA SOUNDS REALLY GOOD DOESN'T IT
JUST SAYING IT SEEMS LIKE A THRILL
MAKE YOUR VOW, BUT KEEP YOUR VOW
AND MANY OTHER THINGS WILL BE ADDED TO  YOU
YOU KEEP ASKING ME DO I HEAR YOU,
JUST LIKE ALWAYS MY SON, INDEED,
 INDEED, INDEED I DO...
"xpressurself"

Piracy....

If you look deep enough, you can see them from along the shore

Slowly from the other side of the deep, midst, the pages of thick gore

Sailing with a mission, mind ready, with the game face…. Pacing

Jumping up and down where they stand, heart beat steady racing

Yet calm……………
 some of them you know they are barely moving

Waiting till they get clossssseeeeerrrrr…..  mentally drooling…

Tension all around so thick, with evil all across their hearts

Ready to pounce……. That is how it will all start

Now here is the irony, a smart person would see something so strange

And head the hell the other way

But folk these days, will get caught with curiosity, and so choose to stay

But the appearance is so intriguing, and borderline sexy

“Let’s wait a little bit longer, let it get next to me”

Have every opportunity to get the away

But instead….. we stay

Now on the other side, there is no particular leader, it is every person for themselves

Of course, taking things that they can hold for collateral, or things to just straight sell

MOST times, it is a matter of just taking, just to take. There is no such thing as privacy

Sshhhiiitttt, this is straight piracy nigga…
And these days, they are not necessarily on a boat, or a ship

Not holding weapons, and things of such on their hip.

Ladies, these days they are in 3 pc suits, nice whips, a good smile, and decent conversation

These dudes can say only a few words, and make you lose your concentration

and to my dudes, they come with a pair of titties, a nice ass, and CLAIM to have their own shit

Which part did you not get???

Even after you tell them you have nothing, they will see what they can get for themselves

Even if it is nothing more than you taking a trip with them, first class to hell

Pockets will not come up empty; they will certainly take something away

A true pirate, will never waste too much time in the same place, they have no reason to stay

You just got bamboozled, hoodwinked, profiled, mis-tooken by sexy foolery

These niggas and chicks are ruthless, and they know what they are doing, so be safe, cuz this shit ain’t new to me…

Hell, being too nice ain’t what you wanna do; you better make them respect your gangsta

You better damn well believe, they will without a doubt hang ya…

“Xpressurself”

Never Alone....

THIS HAS CERTAINLY BEEN ONE OF THOSE DAYS.........

He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone
no never alone, no never alone....
He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone....
so did you....
I was told, "i will not walk out on you", i will not do that to you
you told me that you would stay and try to work things out before we said we were through.
i heard that, and i kept my promise when i said i would work on my communication too
to keep my house in order, i would do what i needed to do
i was working my phucking ass off, but that was not enough for you
life has been rough, and KARMA is no punk, it exist, and it hurts like hell, let me tell you
but i will keep marching on, pressing forward until my work here is through
Will continue to have God on my entire person, but this time i will obey paying attention to HIS clues
paying HIS dues, and as much as i can, i will follow HIS rules
Karma has me sitting up here singing the blues
My past is running full circle, and is sticking to my soul like glue
I know i am being really broad right now, but God and i know the truth
those that have left me by the wayside, i can not have the hatred of a fool
i realize i just did not belong in their circle in this season, and that is all cool
i just have to shake this feeling, dodge this bullet, and do what i have to do
kick rocks, and keep my mind and feet on the move
Praising HIM for what i still have, and what i will retain, and the other things i will probably lose
I am Kingdom bound, and HE is hard on my side, and will be until HE comes back, which is soon... and very soon
For HE promised never to leave me, like him, like her, and like you....
"xpressurself"

DO THE WORK.....

JUST CALL ME THE RUBBERBAND MAN. IF YOU CAN
WILL ONE EVER BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT I AM JUST A MAN.

IMAGINE FEELING LIKE YOU ARE BEING PULLED LIKE 5 DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS
AND ALL THAT YOU DO, HAS TO BE DONE TO PERFECTION
THIS IS IF YOU ARE LIVING TO ANOTHER PERSON'S EXPECTANTS

AND JUST THINK THAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT GETTING IT ALL DONE
YOU WANT TO MAKE IT ENJOYABLE, BUT IT ISN'T AT ALL FUN
WEARING 5 HATS AT SEPARATE LOCATIONS AND STILL REALIZING THAT YOU ARE BUT ONE

STILL TRYING TO PRESS TO MAKE THE MARK
CONSTANTLY PAUSING, RUNNING BACK TO THE START
THOUGH I DO ALL THIS SHIT FROM MY HEART

THIS MUZZLED OX, YET PLOWS THE FIELD
RESOURCES ARE FEW, YET WITH SO MUCH TO BUILD
AND IT HAPPENED, JUST NOW, LIFE JUST GOT REAL...

I REALIZE GOD HAS BEEN PUSHED FURTHER AND FURTHER BACK
YET I MUST KEEP MY CRAP IN TACT
NOT ONLY AM I NEEDING PEACE, IT HAS JUST BEEN REVEALED I COULD BE LEFT ALONE LIKE THAT.....

MY VERBAL WEAKNESS HAS JUST BEEN MADE AN ISSUE
NOW I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT EXPRESSING MYSELF MORE TO YOU
BECAUSE OF LIFES SITUATIONS,  NOW WHAT DO I DO

I HAVE BEEN HUMBLED BECAUSE OF MY PAST HURTS
NOW THIS SHIT COMES UP, GREAT TIMING FROM THE DIRT
BUT GOD REVEALED TO ME TO  WORRY NOT, JUST DO THE WORK

NOW ANOTHER FAITH ISSUE, IS THIS EVEN WORTH A THOUGHT
BUT I PROMISED TO START LEARNING TO LISTEN TO GOD
I WILL NOT HAVE TWO MASTERS, MY LIFE HAS ALREADY BEEN BOUGHT

GOD TOLD ME TO JUST DO THE WORK, AND IT WAS SO CLEAR
WITHOUT WORRY, OR ATTITUDE, OR WEARINESS, OR FEAR
GOD IS WITH ME, HE IS AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN NEAR......

ALL I HAVE TO DO, IS JUST DO WHAT MUST BE DONE
ALLOW GOD TO LEAD MY LIFE, FOR IT IS FOR HIM AND THE SON
I WILL JUST COUNT IT ALL JOY, AND FOR MY SAVIOR, JUST" RUN FOREST RUN"
"XPRESSURSELF"

Stand As A Man.......

Hi, hello, HOW ARE YOU
I come before you, because i yearn to
But, i stand as a man with a lot on his chest
unable to lie down to get the appropriate rest
I am constantly running around simply for the sake of others
i take in a lot, because those are my orders
To fear the Lord thy God, and be there for others
The kids, the seasoned, my sisters and brothers
stand for what is right, and be blameless with my actions
Do what i have to do, but do it in an orderly fashion
I am here on this earth, strictly for service
stand bold on the Word of God, but why do i seem so nervous
I have become anxious, and weary, drowning in sorrow
My heart is very heavy , at times dreading tomorrow
not knowing what is coming, i mean what is coming ahead
God reminds me often "SON JUST DO WHAT I SAID"
"STAND STRONG, STAND STILL, STAND FIRM ON MY WORD"
Father i heard your command, every word I've heard
But i am human, and i am holding on to all i have received
Every word that has been granted me by others, believe i have received
I give it all to you, and i walk away clear
But what about me and my fear and my tears
Father you have granted me dominion over all of the Earth
and I have been beaten, degraded, and been derailed of my worth
Our women and children are lost, and needing us to stand
but how can i come back from being belittled as a man
The world is on my shoulders, and seem to have already failed
God i am needing your power, and grace so that I can prevail
God though i am a man, i get weak sometimes
so many are depending on me, and its either their life or mne
I truly need a word from you, i bid you to hear my voice
Examine my heart, God I rejoice, rejoice.
speak to me God, for i am willing step out of my own
Decreasing as you increase, but i will NOT go alone
"MAN SHOULD ALWAYS PRAY
I WILL BE WITH YOU THE REST OF YOUR DAYS"
YOUR SOUL IS RESTORED BY THE STILL WATERS, AND FROM THE GREEN PASTURES,  SO GET REST"
NOW STAND AS A MAN, WITH YOUR BURDENS ON MY CHEST"
SON I GOT YOU, GO AND STAND WITH YOUR FEET FIRM AND STILL
FOR IT IS BETTER TO OBEY THAN SACRIFICE, SO DO MY WILL.
YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO FIGHT THIS BATTLE, FOR I SEE YOUR HEART IS OPEN
FEAR NOT, NOR BE DISMAYED,  FOR THE LORD THY GOD HAS SPOKEN
"xpressurself"

say what you mean.....

I am the man of the spirit, don't you feel it
my soul cries out, can't you hear it
my works speak for me without me making a sound
listen to my character when you come around
i understand trust is hard to come by
but it is hard for me to lie
i have always been raised to say what you mean, and mean what you say
with some things you really should not play
people expect things from you after it is spoken
there is now a responsibility that you are hold'n
 Daddy said he was coming to get me today
i waited and waited, with him i wanted to play
i told God i would give him more time
WOE, something came up, God will you forgive me this time
if you can not do it, then do not let it come out of your mouth
There is enough pollution in the air, remember that before you let BS out
no one is perfect, but we are all equipped to be made aware
let your yes be yes, and no be no, before you make a vow, don't you dare
making a statement is just like a promise when you have another person expecting what was stated
intentions mean nothing when your promise was dated
be careful because in the end, it all becomes a lie, regardless what you meant to say or do
look back on many of your lies, and disappointments we have bestowed on someone else, that was all commited by..... YOU