Naw.. We Good... ********^^^^^^^^**********

We have a battle inside of me, and only one of me can actually contain it
We have our moments being upset at me, and we purposely intensely refrain
Our days are filled with anger, happiness, and rebelliousness and we think we actually like it
our business is my business, and if we are feeling a certain way, then I surely will not fight it

not truly people persons, but we will give the shirt off of my back
you will never know what will come out of my mouth, nor do you know the impact

just like everyone else, we have our moments where we may not want to be bothered
so just leave us alone, and your peace, and peace of mind will remain honored

i am judged by many, and for the most part, we will not worry about the multitude
when we become annoyed by stupidity, one, or all of us, will become extremely rude
one of us is the peaceful people, and the other one is always on strike mode
neither one of me (US) like confrontations, but we will stick to the G-Code (****)
wanting and needing to be loved, because we love, love........ for love has been good to us

one needs it because i do not like to be alone, and the other one only likes you for a certain period time....
 but i like love a bit more than lust, but trust, they are both good for us.... (BIG SMILE)
Our attitude is not destructive, we just rather speak what is on my brains
but the fact still remains, We'd rather not be tamed

NNAAWWWW, WE GOOD............

There is something about being able to get up and go
whether it is a club, church, or even a hotel, where we (ME)
can get a lil bit and off, off I (WE) go.... ya dig???
Ain't no such thing as doing your dirt by your lonely
you either doing your dirt with your partner, or your inner homey
Well, I think we have said enough about me (US), it may be best
to digress from our conversation, and maybe tomorrow we can start fresh...

It was nice speaking on behalf of Van Lamont and Utter Speech, maybe I (WE) can do it again
well, i gotta see what the other gotta say about that, but until then.
Maybe the rest of me(US) may want to speak out the next time
We keep them out of the public eye, but again, until then....
GOOD BYE
"xpressurself"

We have a battle inside of me, and only one of me can actually contain it
We have our moments being upset at me, and we purposely intensely refrain
Our days are filled with anger, happiness, and rebelliousness and we think we actually like it
our business is my business, and if we are feeling a certain way, then I surely will not fight it

not truly people persons, but we will give the shirt off of my back
you will never know what will come out of my mouth, nor do you know the impact

just like everyone else, we have our moments where we may not want to be bothered
so just leave us alone, and your peace, and peace of mind will remain honored

i am judged by many, and for the most part, we will not worry about the multitude
when we become annoyed by stupidity, one, or all of us, will become extremely rude
one of us is the peaceful people, and the other one is always on strike mode
neither one of me (US) like confrontations, but we will stick to the G-Code (****)
wanting and needing to be loved, because we love, love........ for love has been good to us

one needs it because i do not like to be alone, and the other one only likes you for a certain period time....
 but i like love a bit more than lust, but trust, they are both good for us.... (BIG SMILE)
Our attitude is not destructive, we just rather speak what is on my brains
but the fact still remains, We'd rather not be tamed

NNAAWWWW, WE GOOD............

There is something about being able to get up and go
whether it is a club, church, or even a hotel, where we (ME)
can get a lil bit and off, off I (WE) go.... ya dig???
Ain't no such thing as doing your dirt by your lonely
you either doing your dirt with your partner, or your inner homey
Well, I think we have said enough about me (US), it may be best
to digress from our conversation, and maybe tomorrow we can start fresh...

It was nice speaking on behalf of Van Lamont and Utter Speech, maybe I (WE) can do it again
well, i gotta see what the other gotta say about that, but until then.
Maybe the rest of me(US) may want to speak out the next time
We keep them out of the public eye, but again, until then....
GOOD BYE
"xpressurself"

"Let him"........

In all honesty, men have gotten to where no one knows if we are coming or going
there are a lot of things we are suppose to know, but we just dont be knowing
One major factor is a lot of us were not taught as kids how to be men
we have to have that example somewhere around us, but that part of life just never came in
so we had to use the set of cards that we had, but unfortunately most of the cards were red
Most of the women did the best they could, and did damn good as the head
but how are taught by someone that really did not have that experience themselves
to be honest, a lot of them prayed that lesson would come from someone else
so when that time came for us to stand up and do what must be done
the women reverted back to what they practiced for so long
so the battle of who is wearing the pants, and what i say goes
Who is actually right, now no one really knows.
women liberation has so many ladies lost as shit
and selfish and silly ass men walking around just as confused as the kids
but the WORD OF GOD, has never wavered, so lets learn right now
Women and men gotta start somewhere, it may as well be now... 

 (matt. 11:15 He that has ears, "let him" hear...)

ladies learn how to talk to him, not at him, he can hear you from a distance
say what you have to say, and allow him to learn how to listen
Every man that messes up is not dumb, stupid, or sorry
Edmond's mans learning curve is different from Corey's
If it takes him a little longer to get what you mean, you gotta find some way to be chill
do not get mad at everyone in the house, hell you chose to be with Bill
lower your voice, explaiin how you feel
 it is up to you to figure out how to make him hear.

(song of solomon 1:2,  Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-- for your love is more delightful than wine

Coming from the hood, as well as a single mother home
momma is ok with letting him remain single and alone
There ain't too many stories about the birds and the bees
butterflies fluttering around through the flowers or the trees
Every woman has to teach their man how they want to be loved
how they want to be treated, spoken to, and in what way they want to be touched
We all know what happens in the hood, and what really goes down
I mean, who else is teaching your man, if mommy is too busy and if daddy is not around.
You know your man loves you, but the affection is just not there
calm your ass down, and be patient with him, that is how we know you truly care
i did not know how sweet and seductive a nice and sweet forehead kiss really could be
Until I saw the movie "Best Man", no one else ever told me


PRAY FOR YOUR MAN if you are the stronger in faith of the two PRAY.
it is possible to be unequally yoked, and both be people of faith
Sometimes ladies, it is ok to let him think it was his idea, although it was yours all day
LET HIM seek the kingdom of God, even if you have to kinda nudge him that way
We are dealing with what we got, just as you are playing this game of spades
you two are partners, through it all, and it is all about which team wins the game.
One thing that i learned, the hard way, is the man HAS TO LOVE his wife, this is our command
this means we also have to submit. (let him LOVE you 1. Cor. 13:7  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
ALLOW him to give you what it is you want, as well as what it is you deserve.
"xpressurself"

A Husband..... true example

the bible says that a husband is suppose to love his wife as Christ loves the church
the wife should submit to her husband, and with this, the relationship is suppose to work
Jesus took a lot of crap from religious leaders, and he loved them even when he did not want to
he got accused, lied to, lied on, spit on, beat, yet he kept it moving forward, and stayed true
he continued to provide healing, encouraged  the lost, and still found time to pray for strength
god was his main objective, along with the peoples well being, regardless where his time was spent.
he had to justify his being, and spoke to all that had a listening ear
he spoke with authority when it was time and kept quiet at some, and folks thought he was showing signs of fear
little did they know that his wisdom surpassed the ordinary and his strength was not gonna be wasted
the time would come when their blasphemy and wrong doing would be properly chastened
he continued doing what he did, showing all of the fruits of the spirit
the church continued to not be submissive, as a matter of fact, his teachings of love and patience, and a good life, they simply did not want to hear it
they fought against the messiah, but the king of all kept on with his mission
request after request, he fulfilled request, and went right on with his righteous position
after all he did, after everything he made happen, his actions were as if they were nothing
the ultimate sacrifice was on its way, to show all an amaaaaaazing bit of something
for his love he endured the worse punishment any man has ever had to take
just imagine a innocent man going through this, if i could only see his face
he was not murdered, but he gave up his life, went to hell then home to glory
he is coming back to take his own to heaven, to our new home, then and only then will we be able see the rest of the story
THIS should be the mindset of a husband, the thoughts of a true christian man
We will never get to this point, if we never open our minds up to understand
,, xpressurself,,

in the mirror..... in adoration....

She sits in the mirror with the camera in front of her...
taking photos.....
in love with the very sight of her. almost turned on with her own beauty.
her eyes, are like windows of oxygen to her soul. able to actually..... BREATHE...
just like a nearly perfect portrait. yyyeeeaaa, anyone can tell she is in love with herself.
and if she isn't she damn sure knows how to fool the on lookers, and the nay-sayers, even if she does not believe herself. make-up flawless, clothes the perfect fit. shoes to be adored. HER vision is an image straight out of a magazine.
vain... conceited.... stuck-up... a straight bitch... well at least this is what the chics looking on would say, and dudes will see her as just a chic that is probably out of their league, or a really good piece of ass..

NOT EVEN CLOSE.....
 one would be amazed at how long it actually took her to get to the
point to where she could actually look into the mirror....
one may ask, how can a woman with so much class, and so much going for her fall into a place where she is allowing someone to take her whole being to be so damaged to where she has developed this, what some would call "the ugly duckling syndrome"
 you should ask her sometime.
 but instead, we would rather look and say, "that bitch think she is the shit"
when in actuality..... SHE IS...
To be able to overcome any type of abuse, you see, she was a victim of verbal abuse,
 loneliness, having a baby, with no one to help you....
well not just anyone, but the sperm donor..... abuse was not so physical, but the fact of the matter is, many have never had to deal with it to a certain extent, so it is what it is..
 But to just look at her now.... you can not do anything but smile. in adoration... with much respect.....
and I bet the only one that is authorized to judge her, loves her to death...
I put my life on it....
TO BE CONTINUED........
"xpressurself"

****PSA ****

This is PSA ...........

MURDER, MURDER

There was a murder today, and my heart cries, because another child gone from the hands of a another

Not sure of the things that lead up to that event, but my heart goes out to the family , the father, and mother

Several things go through my mind, and several emotions have just made me think

I remember the days we would fight another to get our points across, but this new age handle your business shit stinks

I got beat up a few times, pissed off a couple of weeks, but then was able to bring my ass back to school

Would not even try to get even, I got whooped, I healed, then I was cool

But not these days, these punks feel they gotta MURDER, MURDER a person to feel like a man

Or like they gotta feel like they are the bigger person, but its senseless, I just do not understand

Give me some boxing gloves any day, and lets do what we gotta do

I got body shots for you all day, and if I get dropped, I just get laid out, giving props to you

What rights do we have to take away something that we did not give

Who gave you the authority to make the decision if someone should die, or if they should live

There was a MURDER, MURDER, today, and as bad as the punch of this poem may sound

Just as bad as it sounds seeing the words on the page, that is just how real this BullShit is around town

Parents have it tough, and although I am not a father, my heart goes out to the multitude of you

Please keep your kids lifted up in prayer, lead them, guide them, ask our Father in heaven to help you

Accepting Christ as your personal savior is always available, it is never too late, it is so easy to do

There are some that will concentrate more on the profanity of this poem than what is being said to you

Well, it is not to late for your simple minded judgmental ass either, neither is it too late for you

I will start off the prayer, for the murderer, the liar, the lost, the saints, the Christian sinners as well as the confused

Pray for these children, they need the old time traditions back, to all adults, God is counting on you.
"xpressurself"

The Pain Of A Bad Relationship

I can not blame no one but myself, I allowed myself to be owned
I did cause some of the insecurities, but her silliness became too much to control
If I was trying to meditate, or write, or just rest to clear my head
she would make noise, walk a little harder, sing heartache songs, and other games to try to get to my head.
She fed off of drama, bullshit, and such...
but the fact of the matter is, she started to become a bit too much
it was only her opinion that mattered, and everyone else had no say
the best way to stop her from talking is if you gave in and just said ok......
well, all I can say is, for the first time i can truly say she won
I did not mind being the bad guy/ punk ass, because being with her was just no fun
My number one fear at one point was, being lonely
but i would prefer to be alone then to feel like someone is trying to own me
niggas and flies, niggas and flies, both i do despise
but the more i hang around  THIS nigga, the more i appreciate flies......
"xpressurself"

*****SMDH**********

If a man makes an attempt to actually talk and be honest with you
What do you think the smart thing would be to do
Not only will it help you to understand this fool
But it will also show you that this man is trying to show realness towards you
SO WHAT he has a past, you probably did some phuk’d up things to
So instead you make him the “PERSON” from your past; now YOU tell me who is the fool
This dude from your past was the outer cover of your dreams, and appeared to be so true
He gave you money, good sex, and the conversation was great and did almost everything you wanted him to
While inside of the book of that perfect cover, he made you feel like a bigger fool
The guy you have now opens up with a past, and he understands his past is not cool
He even tried covering up some things that happened way before he knew you
And you claim that you pray about things, but ye of little faith,
when will this cycle end for you, you damn fool
TO BE CONTINUED…………. “xpressurself”

I am persuaded..........

 Romans: 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

CASE 1: A Lawyer in this case, very good at his craft Extremely generous,
cut many struggling clients fees to half Not always honest,
 but never lost a case
Started out from scratch, right out of his own place
You see this attorney was a street thug early in his life
 Was in prison for 10 years for killing a guy with a knife
It was one of those things where his life was set up like dominoes
 And the way they fell, is the way his life would go
Put out on the streets by his drugged up parent
At the age of 13, starts how his life happened
 But in that time he had, when he served his time
He constantly conversed with his Heavenly Divine
 He was that stereotype that found God in the system
 Got him some learning, and religion, and making himself a good living
 He ended up a conqueror, blessed and elated
God showed him mercy; I am persuaded

 CASE 2: Extremely young and beautiful, a hard cover book
Flawless out covering, candy to the eye, from just one look
 Slightly sheltered at her youth; ever so anxious to explore
Very disciplined and intelligent minded, but soul wanting more
 No where close to being a trouble maker, but the Devil is lurking
 That one opportunity to get out was given, now her whole being is hurting
 A family member violated her, constantly for months
She never reported him, but did not realize she was now turned into a stunt
She searched for love, and that touch, and that feeling of being wanted
 So she constantly gave her body to many, and from her past she is being haunted
 Now feeling worthless and dirty, she is now looked at as a hoe
 Age 22, with 4 kids, and 4 baby dads, still her past, no one knows
without her even asking, true story, this is for real
 one of her NEAR tricks offered her, one hell of a deal.
 Well let's just say, to make a long story short,
 she got justice in every way another victory story,
 of how she learned to kneel and pray her relative had a visit with karma,
 and she totally got back on her feet HEAVY into Christ,
a walking testimony to teens God's compassion struck again,
when she, for so many years was interrogated HE showed out again,
and i am persuaded......
 "xpressurself"

SHE LOVED HIP HOP.........

It was not the fact that she loved Hip-Hop just because it was the thing to do
 But sometimes I think she loved it because of what it took her through….
 Anyone could see from her response when Hip Hop would come on,
 Her whole body language would change,
 leaving her mind maimed
nothing else could enter her mind, and soul.
 Hip Hop was at times the perfect get away for her,
as a matter of fact, She loved to close her eyes to the sound of Hip Hop.
 I think she really just loved Hop Hop because of how it made her hips move
 When his hips moved, when he grooved.
 There has never been another entity other than God Himself That was able to soothe
It was fun, serious, militant, funny, harsh, yet demanding
Although it took over her,
 she at times would allow it To be the commanding officer over her
 There has not been too many to actually understand the directness And confusion that Hip Hop stood for.
 Maybe that is what bothered her,
 maybe that is what drove her
To love the hip of hip hop so much.
She understood the many Avenues Hip Hop would take her
 Because she understood him,
 that is what made Hip Hop What he is.
 what it became
 Hip Hop came to realize, that there was actually one.
 Where they belonged, I think the one thing that she will never get,
the one thing She will never understand about Hip Hop is,
 Hip Hop actually breathes.
Hip Hop has needs
 Hip Hop can only exist if Hip Hop is able to Breathe.
RESPECTFULLY.......
 Respect is the key.
Hip Hop will Respect as hard as she loves. It is what it is….
I think you can pretty much say it consumed her
 It owned her.
Although, she hated how Hip Hop would flip flop her
 And drip drop her.
 Turned her entire persona around, it literally tic toc’d her.
 She would stop what she was doing To appeal to hip hop.
 get up, and get down til it don’t stop
 But she wanted it to stop
 But it didn’t stop.
It won’t stop…..
I was never able to understand why she so loved Hip Hop, though it can't stop
 "xpressurself"

Love Echoes, Quietly..... ******^^^^*********

I hear the sounds of an invisible echo. It is loud enough to shake my heart.

Yet, it is so quiet to where you can be standing right next to it, and not know it existed.

Unless it is something that you once visited.

 Because it becomes familiar once you actually see it.

 Though brutal, it is as pleasant as the autumn breeze.

 And it is an awesome place to be.

 To be in the midst of LOVE.

 For I love love.

When it is real, there are  no conditions to attain it.

 but to actually receive it.

 and I ain’t talking about no “I love you if you can do this for me” or

 “ I love you because you look……. Loveable” and certainly not

 “ I will love you once you do what I asked of you” WTF???

 Is this a bluff.

 To be loved is a privilege. 
I can honestly say that I once was loved with exactly what it is I had. Which is NOTHING…  

furthermore, it is certainly a beautiful place to be

and my insecurities were taken away, when he died on the CROSS for ME

so you see….

As the Bible perfectly proclaims.
 I AM PERSUADED that there is NOTHING

That will come between HIS love for me.

I whole-heartedly love love,
 because LOVE has certainly been good to me.

“xpressurself”

Raw.... Impressive... Righteous... ***

I saw you, and that raw
beauty that God
has bestowed in you.

The skin on your face,
the raw purity of life in you,

Eye candy gives your appearance justice.

You have this look about you;
stark and powerfully impressive

With first look, I would think you were equally aggressive

perfection; how do you compare with the elements of the earth. 

Eve has to be envious.

BUT THEN, a sense of silence

your coy persona becomes more relative

If so I will never rob you of your innocence

WHAT IF God did decide to show face

It would only be a matter of time before appearing in the right place

And it would be YOU
 and all of God’s wonderful splendor
 but it would be YOU
that everything and everyone would try to embrace

With haste

Passionately gasping at your pure,
raw, stark,
powerfully impressive righteousness

"xpressurself"

My Poem ....... My Poetry....

I told God i needed a poem, and i explained what it was i needed

I spoke to him, and he spoke back, and as i wrote he i discovered he succeeded

word for word, line by line, my request for a poem came hard

the words that had been placed on paper, held me at high regard

and i saw my poem, and i love my poetry. as it stands center stage

i love how it talks shit to me, yet has a smile on the page

tickles the hell out of my ego, got me all analytical and shit

i be standing feeling all tingly as she flirts back to me and shit

that tune that i was given to me got me loving my poetry and shit

My poetry be feeding the hell out of my ego, i be feeling like a grown man and shit

I have been looking for a poem that flirts with my intellect,

never talking on the negative, but full of positive respect

When my pen hit the paper, my poetry offers to bring God into the equation

there is a wide range of possibilities when we include my Heavenly Father as part of our relation

My poetry be all up on Facebook, posting all the real

giving not a PHUCK about what another nigga or chic may feel

walls are being broken, and my poetry is ready to relax

she be all in my mind and heart, when she admits this is not usually how she reacts

my poetry be all about that "phuck that nothingassnigga shit, that dude really not down

she be feeling that love, feeling all mushy and shit when my pen be coming around

my poetry be feeding my ear and my soul and my heart be fluttering and shit feeling all alive

Lke John Legen say, my poetry be getting me " So High, So High"

yyyeeeaaaa, we be on some affectionate shit... "#dontjudgemedammit"

My poetry comes to see about me, when the pen is not always in motion

My poetry has always given me the "i got your back" notion

My poetry has come real with me, just as i have done

After God himself, i love my poetry, and she is 2nd to none

i wake up in the morning with pen and paper on my mind

pondering the next meeting place for me and my poetry to spend a little time

She is the only thing that seems like she has always held me down

it is just the two of us, against the world, we gonna always be down...

"xpressurself"

My Angel...... My Madea

As she lies on her bed of mercy, looking like a glow of extreme delight

Weakened by the many challenges of  life

With the wit of a superhero and the strength of a giant bull

Gravitating all in "MY" business, and me being a sucker resist to push or pull

she is asking me questions that I am not sure that I want to answer

but it harshly rushes through my mind as if I was a victim of cancer

Before I leave here, you made me a promise, you better keep
Now, you told me you would have a wife and a family, and that is what i wanna see
Yo mama keep telling me that you are always running the streets

Baby, take care of yourself,  how is your health, you better take your meds before you be in here with me

in and out of a light sleep she goes back and forth

and each time she opens her eyes, HERE SHE GOES with more

and i realize........
Ain’t nothing wrong with this woman, she has never detoured from this road she’s paved

There is no need to worry about what is going on with her, for this old woman is saved

She is doing better than all of us collectively, and she is a force to be dealt with

She went out again, but this time I will let her rest, I digress from her side with a kiss

Looking from the outside of the glass, I look at an angel indeed

An angel here upon the living, My angel is only resting indeed.

"xpressurself"

Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani (encouraged from Mathew 27:46)

My God My God,
i ask of you, why have you walked away from me in the midst of all of my pain
i admit i am not perfect, and not always loyal just the same
i remember in your word where you say you will always forgive, and always be there for me
you ahve already told us that you knew us, and how much of a handful we are going to be
you have given me a task to do, and i have followed through, and still am i on Your path
are you upset with me because occassionally i vere away from the course that i have
i am exactly what you created and i stay 100 with you and my peers when they approach me
"Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani"

i see the goons from afar coming my way, and it looks like judgement in their eyes
My name has been crudified, and yet i keep it moving despite their lies
For your will, i allow myself to be spit on, kicked in the knees, and slapped in the face
i have turn the other cheek, so many times while ministering to my brothers and sisters, yet they still murder me in haste
for Goodness sake, i am drowning in my own tears, wallering in my own pity, while waiting for a response from you.i honestly have no idea what it is i am suppose to do
I ahve torn my clothes, with my face to the ground and i am still trying to see
"Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani"

There is only so much more i can take, but i keep it going on for the sake of kingdom building
every single day it seems that my life, i continue relieving.
my enemies are living a wonderful life, and i was thinking we were all to be treated equal.
Why do i feel like i am surviving in a 5 part movie sequel
complaining i am not doing, but this thing is getting harder my the day
i do not want to disrespect you by saying things the wrong way
Father show me your Glory so i know you have not walked away from me
"Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani"

MY CHILD, CALM DOWN, I WENT THROUGH THIS BEFORE, AND IT SEEMS THE RESULTS
WILL BE CLOSE TO THE SAME
IT IS HARD FOR A FATHER TO WATCH HIS CHILD GO DOWN SUFFERING FROM SO MUCH PAIN
THERE IS A MISSION THAT HAS TO BE DONE, BUT KNOW THAT I AM HERE MAKING SURE THINGS HAPPEN AS THEY SHOULD
COUNT IT ALL JOY WHEN GOING THROUGH DIVERS TEMPTATIONS, THE END OF THE STORY WILL BE VERY GOOD
I LOVE YOU MY CHILD, TRUST ME I WILL GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOUR REST TO BE TAKEN
AND NO MY CHILD, THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN FORSAKENED.
"xpressurself"

rain drops.....

it is raining outside,
 and i am planning on standing right in it

i want to feel what it is feeling,
and blend in with it

i wish to drown in its splendor,
until the moment God stops it

but i want to remain as a
perfect representation of it

when the sun comes out,
i want to be able to over power it

wash it away and remain as is,
 and not even worry about it

as long as the light is still out there,
i wish to constantly revisit it

why do we deserve the sunshine,
there aren't enough smiles and gratitude for it

all of the cries from the less fortunate,
yet our self righteous asses
continue to ignore it

there was a time when things that came from you heart,
everyone would sympathize with it

instead of the balance,
we only empathize with it

no love, no compassion, no encouragement,
we have pretty much done away with it

to be there for another individual,
our offspring seem to have never heard of it

my heart lessens lower, and lower as the raindrops fall
as they fall, and i want to stand right in it

the cries and the pain of my people are
drowning out the smiles of the blessed more fortunate,
i just want to feel the rain, and i
want to be that perfect representation of it

"xpressurself"

"LOVE IS"

I love "LOVe" and all this is is to be,
for the mere concept of love, through the good and bad, although it almost had me broken, has certainly been good to me......

Love is not only cooking a meal and saying I hope u like
Love is not asking, how do I look, is my makeup alright
Love is not isolated, or faking, but being real
Love is more than sticking it in, getting a good feel

Love will concentrate on doing what needs to be done to continually make you cum

That feeling you had the night before, you still feel it the day after, causing that sudden, uncontrollable (throb, throb, throb)jump.
Love is more than the words that come out of your mouth
Love is shown to the person you love; it erases ill doubts
Love does not forget, but it forgives the mistakes made
Love holds no grudge, and comforts all rage
Love is as real as it gets when the **ish** hits the fan
Love is the most beautiful part between a woman and a man
Love...real love seeks for an understanding when something is not clear
Love is that gentle touch, that pc of mind, that gentle voice that you love to hear
Love removes all doubt when that person you love is there by your side
Being real with you at all times, not allowing your feelings to hide
Love is the shit, love is the shit, love is the SHIT when you KNOW it is there
Love sticks by you, when you have your cross to bear

Love does not ask where you have been just to judge you

Love asks where you have been out of care, worry, and because it misses you
Love is faithful, and NEVER lets you down
Love has its arms open wide for you, each time you come around
Love protects you from harm coming near
Some tough love is necessary when you are being stupid and feel like logic is not for your ears
Love is unconditional, and is as real as it gets
Love can be the most beautiful thing in the world, and holds no regrets
Love is uncontrollable, and is not created for us to understand
But definitely worth having and is surely the most sacred and the most beautiful thing between God, a woman, and a man

Love is that place that i SSSOOO long to be

i love love, for love has always been good to me

"xpressurself"

This Damn nervous Tick............

Every time I am not in your presence, but when I am speaking to you from a distance, I get this damn nervous tick

What is THIS shit?

I noticed that I can look you in your eyes, and have about as much control as I need

But how in the hell do I choke when I converse from a distance, and it’s the same each time I speak

There becomes this overflow of silliness, and clumsiness filling up the tip of my Medulla oblongata

Forcing me to uncontrollably regurgitate words and phrases, that I really don't gotta

hell after i got this chance to meet, i should have been able to settle myself down

but now i run off at the mouth, rambling and shit, making me look like a goofey clown

This is not me, and i will not claim this into the air

This burden of messing this up, i do not think i will be able to bare

My tongue has become a major issue with me now that I am kissing age 40

The best use of my tongue here lately is when I am in the middle of being naughty

My past has become a huge blockage, and I think this is part of defense mechanism, causing me to unintentionally suppress my baggage hiding my false morality

Now this is a question I have to face up to, because this is affecting my true reality

I am being given a chance to face up to my present, bringing birth to a future literally in my grasp

Will I mess this up with my being anxious, clumsy, and goofey, and speaking all out of term, yyeeaa, perhaps…

I have been told to calm down by many, even God has told me that this thing could be as fragile as a small kitten

I am needing to calm the hell down before I destroy this opportunity that I have been given

“Xpressurself”

YOU ARE SSSSOOOOO BEAUTIFULLLLLLLL ***********^^^^^^^^^*********

There is an untold story that has been exposed.
Yes exposed.
You are telling the story, i am only speaking it into existence.
You were born a not so attractive person.
Who told you that you were not attractive, society?
You have big lips, a dark colored complexion. overweight. hair a little bit more coarse than you would like.
RIGHT???
You grew up with that ugly duckling syndrome, and you took that to heart
you were continually walked on and looked over because you were never taught how to look to part
the things you did, it was because that was what you were taught to do
i sit and wonder what would have happened if someone simply told you;

that YOU ARE SSSOOO BEAUTIFUL, AND I LOVE YOU....

 how much would you take as true.
But you have gotten so use to:
HOW DUMB ARE  YOU/
HOW STUPID ARE YOU/
 HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS AND THAT TO YOU/
GET AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR UGLY ASS/
GO DO WHAT I ASKED YOU TO DO WITH YOUR UGLY ASS/
GO GET IN THE BED, AND ASSUME THE POSITION, FACE DOWN WITH YOUR DAMN UGLY ASS.
and because of the way you have grown up, and the dumb shit you were taught, you do it without question.
people look at you and make their own judgements, without giving you a chance to sit on the stand and give your confession.

Life means: the period of existence/....
the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body

those negative vibes, and dangerous words has pretty much destroyed your inner self, and caused you to believe that you are nothing. But by the power invested in me, i speak  LIFE inside of you. YOU ARE SSSSOOOO BEAUTIFUL... 

Beautiful means:

1. Pleasing the senses or mind tastefully.
2. Of a very high standard; excellent.

Need I say more, now look in the mirror, clean your face,
do something with your hair, put those wild hairs in place
whatever your pleasure is. get that crust from between your eyes,
now pop your damn collars........and dismiss all those damn lies

now stand tall and firm with me, and take this gift of Life that i offer
lets speak this...... into existence.... to each other...

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL....  you are the epidemy of radiant. To hell with what you have been told. your life has been sold for the freedom of you knowing that you are not only beautiful, but you are royalty. You have been placed in the royal hood of Jesus Christ, for he has payed the  ultimate price.
He said that he did not come to grant you death, but that you shall abundantly have life....
he came to save us all from the outrageous lies, deceit, and the evil that is that Satan deems so useful
in the destruction of our own lives, but just remember God sees us as a reflection of him, and HE thinks YOU ARE SSSOOO BEAUTIFUL....
"xpressurself"

A BEAST....am I???

I AM A BEAST

UN-intentionally,

because you see, there is this abomination that dwells deep inside of me that consistently bubbles up from the gut of my belly, and turns the belly of my gut and out pours it through the clumsiness of my own mouth

and the more and more i ask God to control it, it persistently comes out.

I mean no harm by it. I mean to know me, is to get to know me

and if you just want to justify my actions by what makes you comfortable, just know that you can not control me

,and if you just want to judge me, then blow me

Just like each person that listens to this, or reads this, we all have a war that sits in our hearts that keeps us from being the best that we can be, and it is far more than what you can visually see,

OOOHHHH, it runs deeper.

I asked God in a previous poem to teach me to speak. Well he has perfected the things that i want to say, but in a conversation it gets a bit harder. I can be a bit sensitive when my intelligence is being tested.

OR, OR, OR,

when i am not getting the answers that i am looking for. I am not mad, nor am i in a mood. When i talk at times, that thing that spoke of earlier, you know that thing that sits in the belly of my gut, which turns the gut of my belly builds up, and amplifies. with more force than i planned. and it turns out that when i open my mouth, i turn........

INTO A BEAST.

but do not worry, you will know when i am mad.... but, for then, and for now, i am sorry. so, i will just be that thing that hurts people, but from a distance. in reality, i am just a cuddly teddy bear.
free hearted,
free spirited,
open minded,
and a bit bull headed,
but what do you expect. I am a Gemini.. a Gemini am I. complicated as phuck.

Mr. is not in today…. So you can either have this conversation with me, or wait until he is available, but as for this moment, to keep from upsetting anyone, i will just keep my silence.
just say good bye…
"xpressurself"

My environment... back in the day....

 progression....... A movement or development toward a destination or a more advanced state, esp. gradually or in stages

 Forward or onward movement toward a destination

 Advance or development toward a better, more complete, or more modern condition

or to some it up, to keep it moving.

We have been conditioned to believe that we are a product of our environment. Where ever we have so happened to migrate and live for a certain period of time, that is the mindstate that we are to carry
Though our standards and conditions vary
My hood niggas feel as if, if we stay in the hood, or even just hang in the hood for a period of time, because of the dudes you have just spent your time with, have you thinking that it is good to be down in the hood.
and if you are not dealing with the best of the best, you are a snithch or a hoe ass nigga, and you are up to no good.
now it is easy for you to do because your mom is working a job that is not paying much of anything, and you punk ass dad is either cracked up, hoing in the streets, or just left you dry.
either you never met him at birth, or he just up and said good by
so a family you seek, and now a family you got, now someone now has your back
someone will look out for you as you make a little change to help around the house, yyyeeeaaaa, no now you got that
You see i was a part of the hood where we dealt the crack rock out of a little match box and put it in our pocket
we  did that for a minute until the cops got hip to those shenanigans, so we either had get smarter, or we had to stop it.
so instead of one matchbox, we started carrying around two
one box would be smooth on the side, and the otherone full of matches would have to be new
so if we were caught, we had a Velcro pocket and we would open that pocket, and matchbox would drop
oh, we also had on 2 pair of pants sowed to the other pair, and the leg of the pants would be placed in our sock
you see, at that time i use to think that progression was being able to come up with a newer and better idea, to keep from being stuck in one place
not the case
progression is a state of mind that keeps a person from staying in one place, but knowing that our minds are open enough that when we say i can do anything, that spirit of God that already dwells in us will be free enough to make that thought, become an actual verb ( action) this is called faith
it did not become understood until my boy, standing around at a local skating ring was shot literally right beside me
whose to say that bullet was not suppose to be named and dated for me
sometimes that is what it takes for us Niggas to get away from that very thing that holds us back
When will we learn that God is looking out for HIS own. and is waiting to show us that there is always something better us, through HIM that was sent
and it is time for our lives to start being more purposely spent.
through progression......
"xpressurself"