i Am So Sorry

 

I really just want to apologize to you.

Who am I to question anything you have done

out of all of the chaos i have caused, and the sins

i have committed, and still been brought from where I came from. 

i  want to apologize to you

even after i have said to you what i would or would not do

i stood before you after i called on you and just flat out lied through my tooth

whether intentional or not, no matter the reasons or excuses

there is so much sorrow and the need for forgiveness from you

i need to apologize to you

since the beginning of time you have clearly expressed

the hate you have for sin.

i feel like i break your heart and fit the description 

of when i was said to be a worthless worm

the wounds of my past and present are settled within me

and are a bit of a concern.

i thought i learned to deal stress, and hurt, and guilt, and heart-break, and

and loneliness and shame

anxiety has taken over me, my broken emotions is what consoles me,

i am looking for something, but i am not even sure what's its name.

but, in Jesus' name, what have i to gain, so please forgive me because

i would really like to apologize to you.

i am struggling with this thing that we call life, and it is currently

tearing my butt down

i be on my side of the field trying to figure this all out, but

this journey is long when doing it alone.

you have told me, that your grace is sufficient, you are all i will ever need,

but the confusion is baptizing my mental.

according to your word, i should not move according to my own understanding,

though I have, and I can not even lie and say that it was not done intentional.

it is just not that simple.

my actions were not only faithless, but also unwise.

you want our obedience and trust in you, not sacrifice, and Father, I really

want to apologize