Love lost

 I love love, though I've lost the form of loving and seeing it through

Life has a way of removing the true essence of living and redirecting the truth.

The beginning of things are usually characterized by what's in front of you.

For a real and honest person, the beginning is usually the honest truth about you.

As life goes on, and some of the best  songs are written by our own pens.

Our minds see what we want in our future praying our past never shows up again.

Are we perfect, of course not, do we try,

Most definitely.

We do what we can to be the person the other wants us to be.

Wanting to be needed is essential, and as important as breathing.

Though they continue missing that life line,You often wonder what it is they are seeing.

I see you, and i always have, though there is still much to be learned..

 Through the mistakes and the pain, sun and the rain, it is undertood the respect isnt gained, but earned.

The best teachers offer the best lessons, and life is still molding and teaching me the unimportant things that need to be tossed.

Only love makes a person change, and i love love, with all of the.new new,and i am ok with all thats been lost.

One day in May

 Happy bday to me

Happy bday to me

Happy bday to mmeeeeee

Happy bday to.me

"May, 2001"

The 3 wise men and I, hoping

I.can get assistance.

Wisdom and direction,

 I needed this.

Hurting and trying to

Dismiss this.

But I am being told

To briefly take a back

Seat to the masses.

May , 2012

Gotta get home

The weather is bad

Careful Dare devil,  the day

Before Memorial Day just wanting

To make it home. It's dark and its wet

and the water is swelling and the rain 

Is really.coming down.

Not much that can be done

When your vehicle begins to drown.

May 22,-2015

A gunshot hits hard when its

Burning through  your skin

Fear feels  a bit real

when there is a hole in your skin

Panic totally consumes you after 

watching uour fluids pour out your skin

This is the beginning of my end, I

Totally did  not deserve this.

May  19 2017

Sssoooo, as if it was not bad enough,

It was raining outside.

This stanky bitch starts all this shit,

Then to top it off, she lies

I was simply wanting to go to sleep.

I truly just needed some rest.

Not being at my best, 

feeling less and less

Calm and more irritated.

One more lick, now I am 

tired of the shit.  Still maintaining

But trapped behind that damn steel

From truth being fabricated.

May 2023

Look at me. Now...

Just look.at me

Happy birthday to me

how wonderfully fearful

The Bible told them that they were fearfully 

and wonderfully made
their path was wonderfully paved
as they sat fearfully away
as a fearful slave
all awhile sitting around rotting from day to day
The only hope they had was when they would kneel down on
 their rice planted knees and
their  cotton picking hands, fearfully kneeling to pray.
They had hope, as well as faith
they held on tight to that from day to day
steady reading the word,
though to some this may sound absurd, but they would wait for what God had to say
they did not realize that the whole while they was sitting waiting
God was pretty much doing the same. Waiting for them to believe
in HIM.
when they MOVED, the fear started to brake
when they stepped out of that fear,
then slowly, with their own steps, they started to make
and oh how wonderful they felt, with those deep breaths they began to take
they would stand up to their oppressor, full of rage
now realizing just how fearful and wonderful what God had made
They made their own footprints, traveling their own way
at this point not really giving a damn about what anyone else had to say.

 

UtterlySpeaking.....

Dating... No Truths

Dating is debatable.
The necessity is not verifiable.
Send me truths,
 that are most reliable.
Explaining when, and what I am supposed
To do.
Fools search for perfection in a person
Only to end up with years wasted.
But you dated for so long, when the truth
Was always in your face.
If only u listened when you FIRST asked
 God To show you if you should go forward
Do you still think you would have gone onward
Our hearts will get us killed, our minds
Work just fine.
Common sense ain't always common
But our senses  point out those signs.
Now look at you, fear has now set in.
The fucked up way shit ended is  keeping
You from how you should begin.
 no truths lie in dating, who are you really
Getting to know.
Just a few conversations are needed, and
The darkness will fade out
HE  will allow that light to show.
"UtterlySpeaking"

HE Protects me

My FATHER keeps me grounded....
Though the anguish compels me
satan knows where the key lies, but God's love drives me.
Denying me the satisfaction and gratification of rage that has me aroused
HE protects them from the pain and vengeance that's  housed.
HE keeps me grounded.
The tune of the lies has a melody so potent
Sounding the alarm
yet no one notices.
Who am I protecting, while the bullshit against me is being sounded
HE keeps me grounded.
HE said vengeance will be HIS, towards the evil orchestrated appointed.
HE made HIS statement clear, no one shall harm HIS anointed
"UtterlySpeaking"

the awakening

preserverance

efficiency

God

temptation

persistent

James 1:2-4New International Version (NIV)

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

In the awakening of the dawn, walking in the light

standing straight, observing the bait, God has me ready for this fight

I had that straight and narrow march, with a little rock from side to side

had not eaten in several days, weak, yet praying, reaching deep within for my pride

I promised God and myself, that i would fast for 21 days

only the spoils from the earth, and water, from sun up, until i the vanishing of the sun rays

Work is becoming hard to manage, while keeping respect and home training in tact

Oooohhhh, but my supervisor is really pissing me off, he really needs to step back

Taking instructions from the Word of God, and  my obedience will not waiver

Its day 20, OOHHH and there is plenty of goodies in the refrigerator

FATHER I THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMPOWERING LOVE, EMPOWERING ME TO FINISH THIS TASK

ONLY FOR THE PLEASURE OF BEING IN YOUR PRESENCE, THIS IS THE ONLY REQUEST THAT I ASK.

BUT I AM FAINT AT THIS MOMENT, AND I AM CALLING YOU TO LET ME STAND

Doing what I need to do, to endure in HIS spirit, and I give YOU all that I have..... 

"UtterlySpeaking"

I DO LOVE YOU

I love you so much....
some may think i am being thirsty, or needy,
well I am, and I am man enough to admit it
I need you like the desert needs water
i need you like a smoker needs to quit
I need you to take your hand and cover me.
i know I am a man, and and i know what i am supposed to be
but YOU made me this way
By the things you have done to me
and the things you would say

**i be all blushing and stuff,,**

imagine that, but in the midst of me
being in my feelings, you assure me everything will be OK.
You would tell me to stand up, and stand still
while you orchestrate my steps.
O' wretched a man I am, you understand my mistakes
and you help me to correct me, all for your sake.
 what i faltered, being as gentle as i need you to be
You get a lil gangsta with me in the process, and
trust, that is just fine with me.
you continually tell me, be not afraid or dismayed
stand ye thou still, assuring me, this is your stage
Vengeance is not mine, this is certainly your fight.
Washing me daily with the blood of Jesus Christ.
 I am constantly amazed by your blessings and such
I can not thank you enough,
and GOD I love you sssooo much.
" Utterly Speaking



I'd cry aloud
you remained to yourself, though i needed......

To my church

To my church

There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you

were called in one hope of this calling;

You and I are one.

I knocked at that door, and you opened it,

And when you took that oath, you were then baptized

In the circle of life that involves the art of submission

That will be practiced by us.

True indeed, I am the head.

And I will serve you from this day til the

End of time,

Simply because you said you would accept

This calling of being all mine.

You accepted this calling

Just as I came from my place of which

Life continued to give me a devastating blow.

Knowing that I will eventually die for you.

All I ask is that you accept me as the head, and I

Will serve you, while I teach you, as well as lead you

I will not rule over you

But I will guide us in building this temple

All for the sake of Love.

Unconditionally……………..

we were baptized into one body,

and we were made to drink of one Spirit.

Your body is now, not your own, but mine,

just as, My body is not my own, but yours,

Taste………… and see….

For I am……. Your husband, and you are my wife.

And I will serve you… as such….

“UtterlySpeaking”