"How should I be?" (Restart)

How am I supposed to be me when being me makes so many others uncomfortable

It’s not like I am destructible, or corrupt

It is not like I can just tell everyone to adjust.

I stay to myself a lot of the time, mainly just because

I know my mind is so big and open to whatever is

Out there

God made me so no one could be like me, and I am not the type

To sit closed minded and in a box, I don’t think that’s unfair.

I am a visual individual, must be a mental aboriginal

I think I have been here before,

My realistic imagination is formidable

Maybe it is because I believe in the possibilities

Just like, I believe It is possible for man to dwell together, in reality

I believe that people do not always have to want and want and want

I believe Cops will lay down egos, and stop killing while being so nonchalant

There is the possibility that I am able to be me, without being judged for not wanting to be like you

I can speak as I want to speak, and write what I want to write, boldly about what I believe to be the truth

I believe in the possibilities that my past will be accepted

There is this possibility that my upcoming failures will not always be expected

It is possible that a husband and wife’s stereotype will be a marriage of at least 20 plus years

I believe the status of Christ will no longer be black or white, but be what he is, which is God that walked down here

Like I said, my mind is full of hope, and maybe one day my words spoken soon will be life existing

And though life is twisting us around, maybe everyone will come around to be as GOD mentally coexisting

Yea, I know… it was a good thought though.

And I believe that possibilities are endless, and maybe me speaking more will lead more to do right

Because I know he strengthens me, I can do all things through Christ……

The one described in the Bible….

Isaiah 53:2

2              For he grew up before him like a young plant,

and like a root out of dry ground;

he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

and no beauty that we should desire him.

Revelation 1:13–15

13 and in the midst of the seven lampstands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band. 14 His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; 15 His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters;

I can do all things through this guy………..

Which I believe to be the truth……

“xpressurself”

<<<<<*****I Need to Tell Them (a child's story)*****>>>>>

I just want to say to them, I am sorry

I just have an impulse, and I just did not think it would be that serious

I thought it ok for someone my age to be inquisitive and curious

I have been told, “get your lil bad nosy ass away from there and have a seat”

I have been told “ go sit your MF’ing ass back at table and finish what I gave you to eat”

I saw some matches on the floor, right next to the couch

Yes, I have been told “ if you touch them again, I am kicking your ass, put them back down… NOW.

Each time I would stop, right when it was stated

Each time I would get punched in the face

4 years of life can be pretty cold

But, look at all the games I would receive when I turned 5 years old

3 days after my birthday, I had the best time of my life

I was playing with my video games it was my cousin and I

I was winning, and he was trying to catch up me

HA…. Now that is something that I would love to see

In my cousin trying to win, he broke the handle to the joystick

And it was not him, but me who got hit

I have been told “you need to protect and watch your own shit,

Because ain’t nobody else gonna do it”

But I guess this day, was already a bad day

All I wanted to do was stay out of their way and play

I never thought I would be in this place, no not by far

I was awakened on this machine that was helping me breath, in this small room in the ER

I really do not try be bad or in the way, I am greatful for what they do for me

So, Mr. policeman, and Ms. Nurse lady, yes there is something else I want to say,

I just want to say to my mommy and daddy, say to them, I am sorry.

“xpressurself”

I Want My Life back

 

I really wish we could get our lives back.
I stand as a man, like everyone else, but where are my rights at.
No, the hats that I wear, are not the same hats that you may wear in combat.
But why attack my differences,
as if I am some type of hindrance,
where in the HELL they do that at.
I have a mind, a heart, praying for the means to be able
to carry all the upcoming weight on my back.
Please stop trying to piss me off, because my rage
Can indeed be a fact
God said vengeance was HIS, well I am in HIS image
Which means I am HE, and my anger will pound on your back
So please stop that.
For when I finally open my mind, it is time for you to draw back
I am a God amongst kings, a savage to my enemies and I WILL fight back
I only want to live with you, we should not have to exist with the pack
I am trying to be nice to you, but it seems you do not want that
I am standing as a man, and my black attack tactics are in tact
And I am getting anxious to use them, though I don’t want to
I only just, really just ……………………want to have my life back
“xpressurself”

""I Got You""

As I held her, she told me…………..

Baby, please just tell me that you love me

I been in my feelings for the longest time, and

Right now I am loving your embrace.

I never knew when I would, once again be in this place

With this uncontrollable  smile on my face

And because of you I feel misplaced.

This is surreal.

And as much as I am trying to not like you

I find myself loving you, though I know I do not want to.

I got some past issues that are forcing me to want to reject

What you are showing me.

But, the things you are telling me make me

Feel more at home.

Because you see, I have heard that from these fraud ass niggas

Nothing ass male figgas

These metro-sexual ass borderline bitches

Liars in every form of the word tell me how much they

Want to do for me

How they want to do nothing else but encourage and lift me….

And look at you… you are actually DOING it…

So right now… baby please…. I know that I am currently in my feelings….

But…………

Baby, please just tell me that you love me

While you are holding me firmly with your tight embrace….

With these tears running down my face

This is surreal.

And I am so loving this place…

“xpressurself”

"snc"

Beautiful Mind Grasped

Don’t talk to me

Just for a brief moment, I just need you to listen

Please just listen to me

You caught my attention at that very moment

You made that crooked smile, and you never realized you did it

It was the most beautiful thing I have seen in person

No kidding

I sat there and watched you as you flirted for a minute

And in the back of my mind,

 I was wondering who you really was

Everyone else that already knew you,

was dumb struck with their ooo’s and awes

I was just simply dumbstruck with my ooo’s and uh oh’s

Before I sat down in this bowl of grits,

what did I not know,

that I needed to know

Who are you hating right now,

 who has used you up and placed you in distress

How much has your mind been tainted

by the recklessness of someone else’s mess

I see the hope that dwells inside of you,

and that raw stark beauty of your mind

You beg to be seduced,

and to once again

have your mental clit stimulated

And I promise you,

you will not ever know what hit you.

I know you love sex, as I do,

but I would prefer to have you cum while I

Produce constant strokes,

injecting constant erections of love,

Protection, and spiritual inclinations, speaking about God

and all of HIS spiritual fables

I will be the gospel….. CHU’ch

Speaking on how HIS glory sent such a magnificent creature

To me.

I see you, and I hear you as well

I have a good grasp of where you use to dwell

I just need you to come with me, out of this hell

And stop thinking so damn much

You mind is beautiful as is, but just imagine

How much open you could be, after being properly mind fucked

Only the one that needs to understand you will understand you

Which will be the one you allow to command you

Transparency will be easy, you will have uncontrollable

Orgasmic reactions, and you will be so open you will ejaculate your life to me

I see it ain’t only your leg that is shaking…

No worries, I understand your situation….

I will tread lightly… I see you still sensitive…

I will start back up in a lil bit…

So breath… and clean up and rest a little…

To be continued………

“xpressurself”