GUIDE ME O'....

"GUIDE ME O' THOU GREAT JEHOVAH. PILGRIM THROUGH THIS BARREN LAND"
we went out there with the best of intentions, thanking we's gonna go ret on across
we didn't count on all of those detours and road blocks made by deep ditches, and fallen trees sit'n in the middle of dem folks house
we walked for almost 40 days and 40 nights, we started thank'n we's lost
but we were hold'n on, yea yet hold'n on, with no plans of fall'n off

"I AM WEAK, BUT THOU ART MIGHTY. HOLD ME WITH THOU POWERFUL HAND"
Thou we are following Christ, we are human, and faint we start'n to grow
the elder folk that be traveling with us, dey strength start'n to get low
but not one time did they mumble a word, for dey knew where dey was bout to go
dey was hold'n on, yea yet hold'n on, keep'n up wit the flow

"BREAD OF HEAVEN, BREAD OF HEAVEN, FEED ME TIL I WANT NO MORE"
now here is where thangs started to feel a lil bit odd
folk were growing hungrier and hungrier, the mo down this path we trod
we had our believers, and unbelievers, and those on lookers being real fraud
 the elderly was our examples, for dey was content only filled with a word from God

"OPEN WIDE THOU CRYSTAL FOUNTAIN, WHENST THOU HEALING WATER FLOW"
there was a great transformation taking over the land, and at first we did not understand
so much power was being past through one another, woman to woman, man to man
this journey was almost behind us, and we found strength through leaning on each other, and by the holding of hands
we held on, an still yet hold'n on, thanx to our Saviour for keep'n us focused on God's plan...
"xpressurself"

A Letter To my T- Jone

I ought to be a little subtle about how things actually went down.

Whether you were in the house fuss'n or if we were outside wrestling outside on the ground.

Angela and Melissa could not understand how we said some of the things to each 
other that we would say.

How we acted towards each other and why you would respond in such a way.

At the time they did not realize what we had actually been through.

How at times I would not eat just so you would be able to.

How you sat and looked at the look on my face when I had things taken away from me.

You felt what I felt and even saw things that I really could not see.

I really can not say that I learned affection from you but love I saw a lot.

I was given from God a gift that so many people never got.

I recv’d time, love, respect, an occasional beating when deserved.

A lesson from you I did not get from my dad, which was important for me to learn.

While we were home alone we had more time to understand each other.

I am proud to say you were more than mom, we were like sister and brother.

From showing me how to shake a man’s hand, to how I should treat my wife.

I have to thank God for Mother’s Day and for having you in my life.

"xpressurself"

Old Man Rivers.....

It is said that you can learn a lot by those that do not say a word

I heard that and did not understand that, in fact I’m thinking that’s absurd.

me being a man of god, my first thought was that would mean I’m assuming the facts.

God would say I am judging another and, words can not be taken back.

My thoughts of this changed when I had a little talk.

this being that some called "OLD MAN RIVERS", as I went for a lil walk.

Old Man Rivers is a wise old goat, and I know he is only bluffing.

" I know you know, that I know you know something", but old man rivers says nothing.

I just watch him as he moves with grace as he connects with madam ocean.

spreading all of that information, thinking he can keep it from me.

well, how does he get that notion?

come on old man rivers, you have been here since the beginning of time.

then I thought about what old folks use to say, close your mouth and open your eyes.

so I’m watching old man rivers amazed at how he moves.

no, I am not funny, just amazed at the age and he is still able to grove.

so I began to walk with the old man, and talking and my mouth dropped by what was said.

listening and all I could do was just, shake my head.

he said, "I've been spit on and dumped on while being forced to hide many ruins.

not too many people have learned how to talk to me in the way that you are doin.

it is impossible for any man to get too deep in my soul and expect to continue to live.

so you do not ever need to try, this is the advice I give.

My soul carries many secrets and my body and mind has memories you could never imagine true.

These things you hear from me, until the end of your earthly and spiritual life must stay with you.

I am among the only being that has ever seen the glory of God and still managed to stay alive.

for I am blessed as well as cursed, but one day I too will rise.

I was there when his head was dipped; heck it was I that God entrusted to wash his head.

I share with my brother, as he sits in the graveyard; we hold the bodies of the dead.

We have witnessed many things I have seen many things, I have heard many things

I have held on to many things, and I have kept quiet to many things.

I tell you this too, there have been times while minding my own business alone.

Along comes your young lovey dovey couples’ wanting to get it on.

Some just want a listening ear, at times I am your best shrink.

As much information that I have, I have no time to think".

Before I knew it,  hrs. had passed and all that I heard will take a lifetime to process it all.

Even if I tried to forget it, I would automatically recall.

I told old man rivers, I would see him later; as he rolled away, he never responded.

for hrs. I feel as if we really, really bonded.
so if you ever come across Old Man Rivers, this was an experience thhat was worth the time
Walk beside him and listen to his life, he certain will not mind
"xpressurself"

My 3 first Loves...

IN MEMORY CLEARLY OF MY 1ST LOVES, I WILL START FROM NUMBER 3.

BASIC EVENTS, THOUGH NOT IN DETAIL ON HOW A FEW THINGS WENT DOWN WITH ME.

NUMBER 3): SUZY Q, I WILL NOT PONDER ON WHAT WAS LOST, BUT WHAT IT WAS THAT I HAD.

WHAT CAN I SAY, I MADE HER LEAVE, AND SHE LEFT, THERE IS NOT TOO MUCH MORE TO ADD.

I WAS ALWAYS THERE, BUT I WAS NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEEDED TO BE.

I PRAYED AFTER SHE LEFT, AND GOD DEALT WITH ME WHICH FORCED ME TO MY KNEES.

I WENT AWAY TO ANOTHER STATE, WHERE THERE WAS NOT TOO MUCH LUST.

WHERE I LEARNED WHERE I NEEDED TO PUT MORE OF MY TRUST.

WHEN I CRIED, I WOULD WRITE AND MY SOUL WOULD SIGH.

IN AN INSTANT OF RELIEF I WOULD QUICKLY STOP MY CRY.

NUMBER 2): MY GIFT IS NOT SPEAKING, OR TEACHING, BUT MY GIFT IS _EXPRESSION

IT COULD BE REMEMBERING A SCRIPT, WRITING A LETTER, BUT IT IS LIKE MY SOUL WOULD GIVE A CONFESSION.

I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF HAPPY, AND I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF TO THE TRUTH.

I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF TO SLEEP AND I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF TO A BOTTLE OF 151 PROOF.

I HAVE WOKE-UP FROM A DEEP SLEEP AND WRITTEN MYSELF INTO A DAYDREAM.

I HAVE WRITTEN MYSELF FROM KICKING SOMEONES ASS, OOOOOOO I HAD TO GET DOWN ON MY KNEES

I CAN WRITE WRITTEN WORDS THAT ARE WAITING TO WANDER.

I HAVE WRITTEN FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO BE OUT OF CONFUSION, SO THEY WOULD NOT BEGAN TO PONDER.

I HAVE WRITTEN SO MUCH FROM THINGS THAT I HAVE SEEN, AT THE SAME TIME NEVER FORGETTING THE SOURCE.

I HAVE BEEN ASKED, "DO I LOVE MY 1ST FIRST LOVE?"

WHO IS IT?

AND I WILL SAY IT IS GOD, AND DO I LOVE HIM? OF COURSE!

NUMBER 1): MY 1ST FIRST LOVE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE OF ME, WITH ME, IN ME, FOR ME, BESIDE ME, SINCERLY.

HE PROMISED TO LOVE ME, TO PROTECT ME, TO COMFORT ME, TO CHASTISE ME, TO LISTEN TO ME, TO GUIDE ME, FOR ETERNITY.

THERE WAS A TIME WHERE MY FIRST LOVE SENT ME IN THE MIDST OF WOLVES, AND HE SIMPLY TOLD ME TO STAND.

IF I NEEDED ADVICE FOR ANY SITUATION, HE COMMANDED ME TO NEVER PUT MY TRUST IN MAN.

SO TO GOD BE THE GLORY, THE STORY OF MY LIFE, TEACHER AND PROTECTOR OF MY SOUL.

THE CREATOR OF LIFE HAS GIVEN ME WISDOM AND A CHANCE AT LIFE UNTIL I GROW OLD.

HE HAS TAKEN ME THROUGH THINGS, NOT BEING MEAN, BUT TO TEACH ME HOW TO WAIT FOR WHAT HE HAS IN STORE FOR ME.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY AND THANK YOU FOR MY 3 FIRST LOVES, AND THANK YOU FOR A CHANCE TO FINALLY SEE
"xpressurself"

My Imagination.... Running Away.... ****************

I just went blank, and my mind just wandered aimlessly

Now there I go just walking around, looking around vagrantly

As I imagine you in this palace surrounded by Kings and Queens

Dutchmen, princes, princesses, with you in between

Pampering you with the best of everything

As the best of the best, kneeled down on one knee before you to sing

The entire ballroom is piled high with material things

Gadgets and trinkets and cash and rings

Nice cars, with beautiful clothes, and many more fancy things

WHUP......, here comes someone else, I wonder, what did they bring

It is a man in a mask, with a slight slick lean

Dressed like a thug, but this dude was dressed clean

With a nice colorful shirt, cargo pants with a stitched out seem

Some nice canvas shoes, a baseball hat, and a watch without the bling

A clean cut fella, though his face looks mean

An outcast from the rest of royalty fling

He just stood to the side, and peeped the scene

His eyes caught the princess and their eyes did cling

Though he knew he was not royalty, and she was the daughter of the King

He was much too simple for her, and he was without a lot of things

In a sense he felt inferior, and he first thought to leave

But he was invited by the Prince, to which he refused to cleave

He stayed to himself through most of the scene

And at the right time, once again, he and the princess’s eyes did cling
what on earth could all of this mean
the princes, the princesses, the king, and the queen
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMMIT..... UUGH

I just went blank, and my mind just wandered aimlessly

Now there I go just walking around, looking around vagrantly

"xpressurself"
10/11/2012

"Utterly Speaking"

"The Assignment" (john 21))

This was the 3rd time Jesus had been out and about and revealed himself to those that walked with Him through his life
Peter being up to his old shenanigans, you would think he would have gotten an understanding after being questioned not once, but maybe twice
At the 3rd time, i think Jesus was trying to cover Peter after he denied 3 times; this is your chance to make me feel better.
just answer the questions that i ask, truthfully, and it would probably behoove Peter to make sure he can live up to his answers, to the letter.
but after he answered Jesus, Peter being Peter, either started smelling himself, or was just so nutty that he had the audacity to question Jesus about another of the brothers
John, the one that Jesus most loved was following them, now that should have never been a bother.
Peter turned and saw John following and he asked Jesus, what will you have this man do
This is the disciple that you loved the most, what things will he go through?
I can only imagine Jesus thinking to himself; what if he is the one that sits on the mountain and is placed into a sleep to be given the plan for the last days
he just may witness the coming of the greatest battle, as Gabriel swoops down, with the battle cry grabbing the trumpet in preperation as he plays.
i just may want him to write about everything that has been told to him, recording everything that i place before his eye
but Jesus simply replied, what if I wanted him to stay here, until the day that i come high.
whatever it is i have him to do, as long as he stays his course
tell me, tell me Peter, what concern is that of yours?
The others that were listening on, circulated this saying, saying "that disciple will not die"
"Jesus said it himself, we heard him" which was truly a flat out lie.
This is not what Jesus said, but in fact he said WHAT IF I HAVE HIM LIVE TIL I RETURN
see, even then the truth was twisted, when will we ever learn?
"xpressurself"

#IAMTHATIAM...

i was given a piece of someones mind concerning a certain poem that i wrote
they thought that by speaking to me, i would feel bad about it, but.... uuuhhhmmm.... nope
i think the way i think, i speak the way i speak, i i write what i have wrote
I tell you this, after i finished pissing on this person, they wish they would have just written me a note
This blog belongs to me, and these thoughts can not be tamed
if i really was an ass hole, this person would certainly be named
and this would not be a lie because this person recanted in the form of a text
copying and pasting would be no problem, i can give 2 shits about how much you are vexed
I am an expressionist, which means my opinion goes many places
PLUS i am a Gemini, i  change to many faces
i can easily go from 0-60 in .123 seconds
and from 60-0, in a litle longer time, I mean my tolerance has not yet been perfected....
#IAINTBEENSAVEDALLMYLIFE... IAMJUSTSAYING....
so to you and all of the others that feel like just because you have a mouth, that you can say what you want to say to me
the truth is you have the right to speak your mind, but be aware of the things i speak
God is still working on me, and he has given me a way to speak to make it tasteful, and more pleasant to HIS ears
but #IAINTBEENSAVEDALLMYLIFE, so you probably should have a bit of fear.
IAMTHATIAM, IBEWHOIBE, IAMTHEGOTDAMNMAN
go ahead and exercise your figure of speech, and i will exercise my right to dig into your ass, just as long as you understand
"xpressurself"