Wash Me

please forgive me for my sins caused daily
why cant i take advantage of the fact that you saved me
another chance on life you continually gave me
yet i mess it up, continually; daily

Satan has his hands on me tight
for whatever reason i just can not get it right
no matter how much i get into the fight
i snuggle right into the hype

I need you Father, indeed I do
i need you to send me every part of you
cover me with your spirit, i need you to hold me too
and do not stop until you are through

Wash me with the blood of your son
for the victory is already won
so before the rest of my life goes on
take charge until my life is done

Wash me with your blood, for Christ you are my Savior
I make this a request, this is not a favor
Cleanse me from my stupidity and reckless behavior
 MY GOD, what a sweet and pleasant savor.

I thank you for your Love for me that shows me no harm
from the scars on your head, to the holes in your feet and your palms
the price you have paid for me, you have paid it all
surround me with your protection, and forgive me when i fall

Wash me with the blood of Jesus Christ
guide my hands when i begin to write
I decrease, I am empty, I am weak with strife
Wash me white as snow, and fill me with YOUR might
"xpressurself"

calmly contemplating........

I calmly sat in front of the table
contemplating my first reaction

i was cool, calm and collected
my mannerism was of a gentleman like fashion

I had been waiting a little over 20 minutes
that was way too long for me

but what was i going to do,
get up and leave before we planned to meet

no, I stayed patiently awaiting
and finally you appeared

SOMETHING was gonna be wrong,
that was my main fear

When you came to the table,
 a huge cheese came across my face

I prayed before i made a move
then jumped into action with haste

I tried to maintain my stance
but my weakness made me stumble

I just love that early taste of
Cracker Barrel's Belgium Waffles........
"xpressurself"

Kissing you......

To be able to just kiss you.
to be able to draw every inch of energy from
my body, mentally, and emotionally just to place it
on the tip of your lips
now i hope you don't flip
but i would love to gently taste
your lips, with the tip of my tongue
and for a brief moment, connect with you
emotionally
yea i know we have not yet gone there, and i thought about
thinking rationally
but i am just not the type of person to
promote logic when it has to do with matters of the heart
so before you and I start
What if I did kiss you? How would your body react?
would you want to hold on a little closer...... tighter... fingers gripping the center of my back
as i hold you closer.... tighter as i pull you closer to me, at the small of your back
to release the tension of the day, and release with the sexual curiosity
of feeling us close and intertwined to each other
you wondering what it feels like? the two of us .........together (biting lip)
what if you kissed me? how would it be?
I will keep a towel handy, in case you end up a bit......................................
next time we meet, please allow me to kiss you, as you kiss me
what an interesting moment that will be
so come, and kiss me.
"xpresurself"

I Compromised

I compromised
I took for granted the fact that you would always be right there by my side
I put aside the one thing that you gave me, and left my heart and soul open wide

I compromised
out of me being human, and in need of something that you already told me, you would give
I ended up placing you second, taking a bold, yet stupid chance of my life standing completely still

I compromised
I gave your promises to me a chair on the back seat while placing uncertainty by my side
and i gave those promises of what i believed in, to the needy and unconcerned, and instead received flat lies

I compromised
I guess i was hoping that i could create something solid, which first, was my biggest mistake
There was not a nothingness to make, so i should have been working on ways to go from good,
working on making it great

I compromised
and Father I ask for your forgiveness for placing you on the back burner of my life
From this day forward, it will never happen again, I won't even have to think twice
"xpressurself"

I Made You.... My god

And all of these things I praised about you

Your hair was the biography of you.
It told the story about your years of suffering
your sickness, your strength, your faithful struggle of mothering
being a Lioness to your cubs
protecting them in a way that ONLY you saw fit
it was you alone, and no one else could say shit

Your voice, so soothing to the ears, loving the way
you could even characterize a sneeze making it
an ease to listen to.
I cherished you.
I idolized you. You were my sin.
day out and day in.
I wanted to spend each moment, each opportunity
with you.
and it was all so cool.

and it seems that each time i tried to place you and God
in the same reference.
each time i did, i damaged a little bit of my own substance.
I made you my voice.
You took the place of my Heavenly Father,
even when i TOLD you i gotta get my stuff right.
You were good with that, but it ended up, you and i
spending the night
either on the phone, or somewhere alone.

I was never made to bow to you, or to totally submit to you
but just as the church was nurtured, i was made to love you
My jealous god was not the one that spared HIS life
My jealous god was the one i had thoughts of making my wife
And my Jealous God, was not becoming jealous anymore, HE was
\becoming my furious God
But, because HE loves me so much, He told me to wait a minute and think
about what you are doing
and i realized that in fact, the only thing i was doing was losing.
all of that just for you to tell me, fuck me
because you say i did not show enough concern for you, you no longer wanted me
Now the question became, which god, Which GOD,  is worth placing on hold
i may be crazy, but i can wait on being humiliated, but to put away My Father: i dare not be so bold...
"xpressurself"

Worn Down......... **************^^^^^^^^^^***************

Sometimes the fight that is in you,

It wears on your whole body

Becoming drained

Feeling the pain

With not enough strength to sustain

Yet the reign of your super powers, are questioned

By the ones that depend on you.

You are a superman, no weakness is in you.

Becoming a fool of your own expectations

drowning in a pool of failed patience;

it wears on you
 ain't no love deep enough to accept
this type of bullshit, and deal with it by yourself

We procreate our own existence.

And we move on our paths with persistence.

BUT how easy it is for all of that to be diminished

By YOUR ass

Yes you…. “Negativity………”

Negativity is kryptonite to Superman.

And no matter how much it is fought

That rock, that person, that situation, that small

Piece of drama can fuck up everything that you stand for

If you let it.

I have learned to look to the hills for my help

And it seems like I will be forced to make that trip up by my damn self

With only God’s help

Up that mountain (not around it, but head-on), down that sea shore

And in the name of Jesus, I will claim my victory, and that negativity 
that was so piercing to my side, will be no more

“xpressurself”