I Made You.... My god

And all of these things I praised about you

Your hair was the biography of you.
It told the story about your years of suffering
your sickness, your strength, your faithful struggle of mothering
being a Lioness to your cubs
protecting them in a way that ONLY you saw fit
it was you alone, and no one else could say shit

Your voice, so soothing to the ears, loving the way
you could even characterize a sneeze making it
an ease to listen to.
I cherished you.
I idolized you. You were my sin.
day out and day in.
I wanted to spend each moment, each opportunity
with you.
and it was all so cool.

and it seems that each time i tried to place you and God
in the same reference.
each time i did, i damaged a little bit of my own substance.
I made you my voice.
You took the place of my Heavenly Father,
even when i TOLD you i gotta get my stuff right.
You were good with that, but it ended up, you and i
spending the night
either on the phone, or somewhere alone.

I was never made to bow to you, or to totally submit to you
but just as the church was nurtured, i was made to love you
My jealous god was not the one that spared HIS life
My jealous god was the one i had thoughts of making my wife
And my Jealous God, was not becoming jealous anymore, HE was
\becoming my furious God
But, because HE loves me so much, He told me to wait a minute and think
about what you are doing
and i realized that in fact, the only thing i was doing was losing.
all of that just for you to tell me, fuck me
because you say i did not show enough concern for you, you no longer wanted me
Now the question became, which god, Which GOD,  is worth placing on hold
i may be crazy, but i can wait on being humiliated, but to put away My Father: i dare not be so bold...
"xpressurself"