Tuggle War

I had a dream last night...

I went into the bedroom

No intentions at all, except to lay down,

to rest my mind.... and t just chill out

The more I went into the room, there was this force

Pulling me.

At first I did not fight it

Because it had me. all of me,  and I think I liked it

I believe in the back of my mind I wanted it to control me,

But the shit just did not feel right

Especially at that time of night

So I started to resist, and the force would pull me a bit harder

I call myself trying to out think it, but it was just a bit smarter

Never in my life had I felt anything like this pure evil before

I was scared as hell, fighting the forces of hell,

That was trying to take me back with them to hell

My body was taken with several arms reaching out to me

With this invisible force, like a vacuum pulling, and pulling, and pulling me

I looked back at the corridor of my bedroom door, and there was my girl

Looking through my phone, saddened as if she had just lost her deceased grandmothers pair of pearls

And straight ahead of me was this woman I just met

She had been doing EVERYTHING that I had been pleading my girl to do for me, and had not done yet

This woman had been telling me that she needed me,

 my girl had been telling me the same the same stuff

This woman talks to me instead of at me,

and my girl is a little diamond in the rough
as much as i did for my girl, it never seemed to be enough
the few things i desired from her, she made it as if it was too much

This woman willingly encouraged me to do what my heart cries for

My girl has my heart, as well as a little bit more

Will I allow this force to pull me away, KNOWING this is not where I need to be

They say you cannot love two people at once, I wonder if they was including me.

“xpressurself”

Life Awakened......

I was feeling lifeless, and worthless, with no focus, no direction,
no sense of urgency, no mutual connection
 voice unheard; no projection
feeling like garbage in a compactor, lack of introspection
 sitting in my own pool of tears, accepting my imperfection
Then she came over to me, and straddled me, and I had no objection
 Then she inhaled, and BLEW LIFE INTO ME; mental erection
Her words were massive, with careful yet constant injections
 Pointing me erect, in the correct direction
SHE BREATHED LIFE into me, she gave me conviction
She spoke life into me

Someone got it right...

The only reason I fight so hard to be heard, is because I need someone to just tell me to hush…. Listen. THIS is what you need to do. I just need someone to

Hear where I am coming from (for a change), and not compare everything I do with someone else. But to allow me to explain myself. Talking is not one of my strong points, but I so yearn to be pushed and encouraged; supported. But I have gotten to where I would rather go outside and sit on the porch, or go to the back yard and chill with my dog. Not as if she understands anything I am talking about. But she will sit, listen, and without judging me for the way I think, or for the way that I am, she will simply look back at me, as to ask me, why have I stopped rubbing her on her head. She will then either take her paw, or with the tip of her nose, place my hand back on her head, and rub. And for a little while, I have just spent time with the best friend a man could ever have. She got it right. Just sit with me, watching the trees dancing with every breath of the wind, listening. I just wanted to hear everything will be ok. yyeeaaa, but I will take what I get.

"xpressurself"

By a photo

By a photo, I saw her and for years I was intrigued by her eyes, beauty, her smile

Pondering if there was a chance, that she could ever be mine

By a photo I wondered what her life would be like

Was her past so bad, is she living right

Would I ever have a chance, is she worth the fight

By a photo, that wall that she hid behind, would she ever find

A peaceful refuge, that moment in time

That breath of fresh air

A time she could just be her, and no one would care

By a photo, being that mirror no one understood

I could not fathom what happened to her, no one really could

To be touched in way that God never allowed

Yet she hides behind selfies, trying to fool the crowd

By a photo, alone she sits

Remaining that chic, that no one really gets

Showing herself to world

Just wanting to understand her own life, and why someone

Would take something so precious from her as a little girl

“xpressurself"