***standards***

we are not supposed to have standards.
we are not supposed to be able to think for ourselves,
or have any type of demands.
There is no need to have likes or dislikes, even if
everyone else agrees with them.
there is always some type of opposition with him,
having to have the mind set on defending himself as soon as the sun rises.
not only after you walk out of your door of your home, because
right before breakfast you are met with surprises,
and the manipulating arises
MY KING is starting to sound like a trap because
THE KING gets no peace.
what exactly are we leading nowadays, besides being
great while all needs are met, but when you fall off, here comes you are lazy,
 no good, and weak......
Oooohhhhhh but when we do speak.
We are mean and inconsiderate; speaking our minds are only for the sake
of us strengthening our egos.
YOU AIN'T NO RREEAALLLLLL MMMAAANNNNN..
is this really how a relationship goes???
who really knows?
when every being inside of you is trying to be true.
yea, sometimes it involves everything you hate to deal with
it is the good as well as all of the bullshit.
but, who really has all of the rules on what to do when you
finally tell that person that you truly love them?
After that, the beginning immediately becomes the end.
because after those words are uttered, you basically have no where else to run.
you have to take the good with the bad, big or small, however it comes.
there is no one to blame but YOU because YOU spoke the most overstated phrase known to man
without knowing the true meaning, having different motives at hand.
what, you thought it would all be easy, with daily smiles and giggles?
will your heart always agree with your mind,
 WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER THAT RIDDLE
at this point it is not about standards, it is about making a decision,
do you still want to be the king of the chaos
or the leader of your household,
As was Christ with the church.
when you say "you love them" it does not have anything to do with how you are feeling
but it has everything to do with what are willing to deal with.
so take a deep breath, and rule..... with standards
"xpressurself"

me and my face...

I am always told that i look mean
as if i always  never have a smile on my face.
i look as if i have a chip on my shoulder
like i see everyone as someone that is out to get me.
could it be?, or maybe this is a face that has been through a lot of roller coasters.
well if you ask me...
my face has nothing to do with you.
and for you information, this is not a frown....
I just have my mothers face...THANK YOOOUUU...

I woke up like this

They always call me the life of the party.
Always got my teeth showing in front of somebody
I love to get out, the dance floor is my zone,
usually, I have the most fun jamming alone
it just feels.......... safer that way
Thanking God for one more mercy, given to me one more day
 because before i complete brushing my teeth for my performance
and washing my face,
cleaning all of the pain and regrets from the past away.
i sit in the mirror holding my mask in my hand;
vigorously trying to understand.
And do not come at me with no church talk.
If you want to pray, then pray, but keep if for your flock
God and I already have an open conversation-and
NO ONE can come between HIS and my relation.

no one sees behind the mask, i am crying.
my heart hidden in plain sight, shriveled up dying.
hidden from even the people I am suppose to be relying on,
for my faith and trust in everyone is gone.
and i am totally tired of hiding from every one,
this feeling of being alone just sucks ............ass....... ugh
I mean, me hiding is better than the alternative.
I decided, God is the ONLY one who determines how long i should live.
That should not, and is no longer my decision.
It will be over soon, but until then, i choose to keep on living,
keeping my life internal, continuing being the life of the party.
and you will probably never know anything because you never ceased the opportunity,
or even put up a fight,  to actually get to know me.
"xpressurself"